This single parent gig is hard | PSF


When the cat’s away the mice will play?


The person that said that definitely wasn’t a mom, because our “playing” or my playing is just making sure the house runs smoothly, everybody is fed, gets to school on time and has clean clothes (and maybe their teeth are brushed and their bottoms are clean!)…wow, can you say run on…that’s how my brain feels.

Fortunately, they can be helpful, you know, when they want to be. They are really good at teamwork, as long as the right person gets to do the spraying.


I just don’t get how single parents do it. I’m nursing a baby in one hand, checking homework with the other hand, and getting called to the bathroom to help wipe a bottom all in the same instance. No, I’m not complaining. I love my family, and even when I’m frustrated, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Not to mention the sleeping thing? I sleep like crap! I was up until 2:30 in the morning (might have been from the caffeine I consumed to try to kill a headache). Then, one little girl wanted a paci a little after 5. Then one walked into our room at 5:30 asking if she could get up. And, finally at 6:00 asked me to get her breakfast.

Then, there is the jealousy. Yep, I’m jealous. I know he says he misses us…blah, blah, blah. But, he’s sleeping in a bed that nobody is going to wake him up in. And, he’s getting complimentary “check in” to him room champagne. Oh, and let’s not forget watching the sunset on the Pacific-freakin’-Ocean. And sitting down to fancy meals without having to help a kid or cutting up food.

Did I mention I’m jealous? This single parenting thing is hard. I need a work trip, stat…anybody want to sponsor a trip to NYC for BlogHer? What? Crickets?

But, I just don’t get how it’s done on a regular basis. How do you momma’s do it that have husbands that travel every week? Or every other week? 

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  1. Oh, I would TOTALLY be jealous! And I’m a mess of a parent WITH Jon around, I can’t imagine what I’d be like without him!

    1. I hear you…when Mr. Serious gets home after dinner time, I’m usually a little crazy.

  2. OMG! I was just thinking the same thing. My son is 2 months old and my husband is on an overnight camping trip with the kids from school, and I feel like I’m going crazy. I didn’t realize how much I look forward to the evenings, so I can shower w/o dragging his bouncy chair in the room w/ me or have someone to bring me snacks during cluster feeding or just make me dinner in general. I’m going crazy and I cannot wait for him to get back tomorrow. My consolation is he’s dealing w/ a bunch of other people’s kids right now and isn’t exactly relaxing lol.

    1. Yeah, as a former teacher, I totally get the other people’s kids.

      But, I also get the I’m hungry and nursing for 2 hours straight and I need to pee thing, too!

  3. I don’t know how single moms do it either! I start to fall apart if my husband is 15 minutes late in the evening! My hat is off to the single mommies!

    1. Oh, when I’m thinking he’ll be home for dinner and doesn’t make it, I get really close to the edge!

  4. grandma Pat says:

    you did a good job mommy. Your dad used to travel some when you and Emily were babies. It was tough for sure. I don’t know how single mom’s with full time out of the house jobs do it. Fortunately for you, you work at home. I imagine there are a lot of take-out and microwaved meals.

    1. He did travel a lot more when it was just the two girls:) And, I was working then!

    1. Bedtime was hard, too because I had one baby nursing and the other two were supposed to be getting jammies on and brushing their teeth…and well, they need a little more supervision.

  5. My husband gets laid off constantly and has to go away for work often. Usually he’s gone for the week and visits on the weekend but that’s only if he’s close enough sometimes he can be gone for months, thems comes home for a quick visit then back at it. I have three kids and yes I agree the single parent thing is hard but because it happens so often I’ve gotten used to it and realize that I can only do so much. I try to keep the house clean by doing a little a day and sometimes a bath gets missed but I do it. Then there are days I want to go outside and scream because all three little ones are, although my neighbors might think I’m crazy..lol

    1. I can see how the screaming might be necessary. Props to you for doing it all the time. Maybe it’s easier when you are used to it, but I think it’s still hard!

  6. It is very hard! I have tons of respect for single mamas! Hang in there.

    And yeah, I’d be jealous of my husband, too!

  7. This may sound horrible )just wait until the end). John travels for work. Usually this means 3 weeks stretches, home for 3-4 days, gone again for 3 weeks or so. This time, he’s gone for 5 🙁 He’s only staying gone this long because the baby is due the end of June, he doesn’t get vacation time, he was laid off for 3 months and we just got caught up on bills. He wants to be sure we can afford for him to stay home for at least a week when baby comes, plus he has to take a week off in August to go spread his dads ashes.

    It sucks…really sucks. I get so lonely sometimes! I had just gotten use to him being home all of the time, then he gets back to work. Generally his layoff is 2 weeks, so this is something new for us this year. Good and bad. Maggie and I were adjusted to his being gone for weeks. Then when he was home, Maggie (now 19 months) got use to seeing daddy every day! The day he left…she woke up in our bed and looked around…where’d daddy go. That’s the worst part for me. She’s suffering daddy withdrawals big time! We deal with it because it really is what works best for us, but it’s really hard. This pregnancy is kicking my butt. I’m so tired, no ambition to clean…at all! He feels so bad that he isn’t here to help with things, but in order for him to work at home, he takes at least a $10 / hr pay cut and even if I get another job working out of the house (I work from home now, but don’t make a lot of $) it wouldn’t make up for what we would pay in child care. This definitely is what works best for us right now even though it is so hard.

    Now….the horrible part…when he IS home…it’s a big adjustment for all of us, but I absolutely won’t compain, it’s just different. Maggie gets to bed late, doesn’t get her naps, whatever the case may be. He has a certain way that things should be when he is home, so he gets very stressed out by things if they aren’t that way, and I am much more relaxed, so sometimes when he is home, I get stressed out. I really just want him to get up with Maggie so I can just sleep…but then I feel bad because he works 6 days a week and should get to sleep too!

    I however feel horrible if I ever complain about it. I know there are people who spend every day for way longer periods of times doing this on their own. But I also have a friend who has her husband home all of the time and still can’t cope. She really stresses me out. Most of the things seem pretty easy to me, probably because I am use to doing things with a kid and by myself all the time.

    Okay, so this ended up being rambling. Sorry about that! All I meant to say is that it works for us even though it is hard. Everybody adjusts to what they have to adjust to. Sadly, I get jealous of her dad too. I tell him. When you are done with work, you can do whatever you want. Nobody demands your time. When you go to bed, you get to sleep all night.

    1. You are right, after daddy is gone, the schedule is even worse when he gets back because daddy wants to catch up!

  8. Surely you can find a sponsor for NYC! C’mon I need to see you there and you can bring that precious babe too! 🙂

    And I know what you mean about not knowing how single parents do it. I hope most have some help with either baby-sitting (besides daycare obviously) or cleaning, etc.

    1. I would have to actually start working on that! Like you know, buy a ticket to what I’m sure is already sold out!

      Yes, they would definitely need a baby sitter or some good family/friends close by.

  9. My husband was working two jobs and is until this weekend…sometimes I feel like a single parent too. I can’t imagine having a husband who travels so often. There are some mornings I want to scream because my son was up late and then he wants to wake up early and I have to figure out how to entertain him all day. Then, to top it off, my husband said to the carpet guy the other day “Hahaha..yeah, and my wife has to deal with him when I go to work!” And they laughed and patted each other on the back. Yeah…nice.

    1. Oh, I just love it when they leave that to us…”you’re home all day, you figure it out!” Ugh.

  10. I hear you…Lew works insanely long hours and sometimes I feel like a single parent. And have un-interupted sleep..sounds blissful! I’m jealous he’s having champagne and seeing the pacific ocean and i just got back from a vacation!
    Hang in there mama!

    1. The only good thing? He brought me back some See’s candies…which embarrassingly are all gone!

  11. Yes, it is SO hard! My husband traveled all the time when I had little ones. It was definitely tough, and I just had to adjust to doing things without him…without help. Hang in there!

    1. And, I think it’s totally different when you leave them with daddy for a little bit so you can run out.

  12. Bekah Kuczenski says:

    I’m so thankful for my husband and I don’t know how single moms do it!

    1. Even though he was traveling, I’m very thankful for mine, too!

  13. My husbands going away next week and I’m already not looking forward to it and I just have one!

  14. I have no idea how single parents do it either! They are amazing. On days when my hubby gets home late it is all I can do to just survive.

    1. They are amazing…and I hope they have family/friends they can lean on.

  15. SO feeling you on this! My husband hasn’t had any swanky work trips recently but I can recall a few when I was like, “Uh huh, sure you miss us. Trade you?”

    1. Right, nice dinners, yummy food, free yoga classes…how is this hard?

  16. Lindsay C. says:

    This is how I feel when my hubs is gone for work too! Talk about Super Moms! I don’t know how my single-mom-friend who has twin boys does it.

  17. i could never ever be a single mama. seriously those women are amazeballs!!

  18. Alexis Bertch says:

    My sister was a single parent for about 3 years. It was really tough on her. She had to rely on help from other people (family).

    1. I don’t see how you could do it without family or really good friends.

  19. Okay, that picture of the girls cleaning is too cute! But I get you about the jealousy. It’s so hard when my hubby is gone and I’m always so jealous of him being able to sleep through the night AND him having so much free time in the evenings!

    1. Seriously..or sitting and talking to adults uninterrupted?

  20. My mom and I used to have a set “Daddy’s Away” routine. It made things easier.

    1. That’s a good idea. Fortunately, daddy isn’t away very much!

  21. I’m a “daddy’s always away” mom. Even when my son goes to his dad’s every other weekend-ish, I feel like I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders, trying to raise an ALMOST TEEN (9 days left), watching the grades, caring for the 3 cats, 1 dog and the household in general (cooking, mowing the lawn and more). The husband that traveled, went to a city called DIVORCE and never came back. It was a good decision for everyone, but dang it’s hard! It’s okay to be jealous. You deserve a va-cay! Being a mom, no matter what the circumstances is a full-time job!

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