How to get into a fight at Christmas


Every Christmas, the commercials start up. Let it be a “December to Remember!”

Open a jewelry box with a car key in it.

Open the garage to a brand new car with a ribbon in it.


Lease me a car for Christmas and I’m pretty sure we’re going to get into a huge fight on Christmas.

“Hey baby, I bought leased you a car for Christmas.  Here’s your statement with your $600/month car payment.  And, in 5 years, you have to give it back!”

december to remember?

And, how about “Every kiss begins with Kaye!”

Because, it just wouldn’t be Christmas without a huge rock on your hand, neck or ears.

Not to mention the fact that this is basically saying to a man he won’t be a good husband unless he makes a huge purchase like this.

Oh and don’t get me started again on that open heart collection.  I’ve already told you it drives me nuts!

I know and I’ve learned that my love language is not receiving gifts.  I get that.  I don’t want you to buy me stuff.  But, should a husband (or wife) make a purchase like this without first consulting with their spouse?  I think that’s the part that would really kill me.  You have to talk about an expense like this before you spend that money.  Well, unless you have the money to just pay for the car in cash…and that’s entirely another story (I don’t know anybody in this situation).

So, my advice (or two cents..likely three) is don’t spend a gazillion dollars on your spouse at the holidays. Make sure you have a budget and you stick to it.  So, I guess if your budget that you agree on is a couple thousand dollars, go for it.

What would you do if your spouse/significant other brought home a gift like this without discussing it first?

What’s on your Christmas/holiday wish list?

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  1. I would be TICKED! Major purchases have to be jointly decided upon, and on the subject of leases on vehicles, I am not a fan at all. I’ve done it a couple times, and I’ll never do it again. The continuous payment for nothing at the end is not ok with me.

    1. Oh, totally not a fan of the leases at all..I fell like you just throw money away! And, not discussing it is a terrible idea (to me!)

  2. I would be very upset if Tim spent that much money on me.. probably because it wasn’t in the budget.. i didn’t scrimp and save all year to blow it on one gift 😉 I got some new clothes.. and Tim says he has one other thing he wants to get.. we also made each other something. We had a budget and stuck to it!

    1. I think it’s so much better to stick to the budget! Maybe it’s because we have a budget and scrimp and save….I guess it could work for people that have money everywhere!

  3. I still totally agree. There’s also “He went to Jarrod” which usually makes me want to smack someone. I love to give and receive presents, but I want something meaningful, not a Lexus. This Christmas I’m wishing for a buyer for my house, so that our daughter and I don’t have to live 500 miles away from my husband. (He lives on base and we can’t move there until the house is sold. It’s been 4.5 months and I’m slowly losing my mind.) The best gift I’m getting this year (as it was last year) is his three weeks of Christmas leave that brings Daddy back into our daily lives for a while.

    1. Oh, the “he went to Jarrod” is also right up there! I can’t imagine living 500 miles away from my hubby. Praying that you house sells for Christmas this year! But, so glad he’ll be home for Christmas.

    1. Yeah, these things just have to be discussed…or maybe you just have to have sooo much money that you don’t know what to do with it?

  4. AMEN!!!!!

    My husband and I have decided that the one where the guy opens a smart phone that is his hint at the new car is his own smart phone being wrapped up. Not a new one. Otherwise that’s just insane.

    1. I saw this same one and thought, “wow, he got a phone and a new car!” I’d be extremely happy with a new phone right now..I threaten to throw mine out the window at least once daily!

  5. I would flip my lid if my husband made a huge purchase, as he would if I did. I’d much rather he steamed a floor or surprised me with all the laundry clean and put away. Now THAT would make my heart happy!

    1. You hit the nail on the head. I learned that my “Love Language” is service, and I’d much rather you do something for me then buy me something. That would be nice!

  6. My husband bought a surround sound system like forever ago without asking me. I didn’t talk to him for a couple days. Now we understand eachother better, he feels like he needs to go out an reward himself after a good sale, it’s OK with me, it just needs to remain in perspective.

    Me, on the other hand, have a horrible time spending money on myself 🙂

    1. Yeah, I’d probably be ticked, too. But, now you guys have an understanding of each others’ expectations and that’s good!

      I am horrible at spending money on myself. Case in point, my phone stinks…and I don’t want to spend the money on getting a new one.

  7. The only reason a gift like that would make sense is if it weren’t a surprise, but rather a planned expense that happens to coincide with the holidays. But yeah, I’d rather you just buy me a new book lol

    1. Exactly…if you discussed it and budgeted for it, and it’s something you both want and CAN do, then go for it.

      Otherwise, I’d flip my lid.

  8. I LOVE this post. Those car commercials always make me so mad!!! Like we all just have tens of thousands of dollars lying around to go out and blow on a car whenever we want. Not only that, but I would be SO MAD if Todd got me a car without consulting me on it first. I want a say in what kind of car I drive. In fact, I want to pick it. I won’t let Todd order my food for me do you think I’d let him buy me a car without me there? Nuts!

    Anyway, LOVE this post. My thoughts exactly. 🙂

    1. Right? Who wants a car picked out for them? Not me (and ordering my food, yeah, don’t even try that!!!).

      And, on the rare chance I had tens of thousands of dollars laying around, I wouldn’t spend it on a stupid lexus.

  9. I lived with a man for 11 years who would come home any given day of the week with a large purchase I knew nothing about.

    Me? Never. Ever.

    But he made a very good living and denied me nothing. I was just a fool not to ask more often.

    So, back then…no. It wouldn’t bother me.

    But, if I was married now and we depended on every paycheck to eat and lived seriously tight (like I do now!), I’d be a bit peeved.

    Especially if that nice gift came with a monthly note.

    1. I don’t know how I’d feel about that. I think I would still want to discuss it. You should see if he wants to send your blog friend a new phone since he sounds like such a giver (then again it might be awkward for you to contact him so much time later:)

      I think even if you aren’t paycheck to paycheck, it would just be too much to add something like that into your budget without talking it over.

  10. It’s hard to imagine that happening because we are both thrifty and we we talk a lot about how we spend out money.

    I can’t say that I’d be too upset with a jewelry gift, but even that would have to be something that isn’t wildly extravagant and he would need to be saving for it for a while, so I’d have an idea that something special was coming.

    1. Of course, I doubt it would be in a family that is already thrifty. I just hate the implication in the commercial that you aren’t a good spouse if you don’t get something like this.

      And, nothing wrong with jewelry, either…as long as you can afford it:)

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