She must’ve been damn sexy


I was reminded of a phone conversation that took place about a year ago, so I thought I would relive it for your reading pleasures…

Early evening we get a phone call at home, and I answer. It is a man’s voice, but for the sake of this conversation, we are going to call him “Desperate Man” or DM.

Me: “Hello”
DM: “Hi, is Crystal there.”
Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”
DM: “Did I call XXX-XXX?”
Me: “Yes, you did, but there is no Crystal here.”
DM: “Well, do you have a roommate?”
Me: “Nope, just me and my husband.”
DM: “Could you check and make sure you don’t have somebody there named Crystal?”
Me: “Nope, nobody here.”
DM: “Is it you, did I meet you and such and such bar?”
Me: “Don’t think so.”
DM: “You didn’t give me your phone number? Well can you hold on, let me check the piece of toilet paper she wrote the number down on. I programmed what I thought it said into my cell phone.”…pause….”Okay, it says, XXX-XXXX.”
Me: “Yep, still our number and still no Crystal.”
DM: “Will you check one more time?”
Me: “Dude, she must’ve given you the wrong number because she felt bad for you. Nobody named Crystal lives here. Please don’t call back.”
DM: “Are you sure?”
Me: Dial tone.

I’ve never heard of somebody being so desperate. She must’ve been the hottest woman ever. I know you are wondering why I didn’t hang up. I guess I could sense the desperation in his voice and wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to call back….but, a couple weeks later he did. Same thing started to happen, only this time, I put my husband on the phone. No more desperate man phone calls. That is when it called for Miranda from Sex in the City to tell him “She’s just not that into you!”

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