I’d totally give you the dress


While listening to the radio the other day, I heard an older sister call in. 

Her younger sister had previously called in upset.  You see, their mother had given the older sister her (the mother’s) wedding dress when she was engaged to be married.  The engagement was broken off, and sadly the mother passed away.

The younger sister is now engaged and wants to wear their mother’s dress.  She called into the radio station to see if anybody else had any ideas how to talk to her sister.  The older sister was absolutely adamant on not allowing her younger sister to have the dress for her wedding.  There was no changing her mind.

So, I was listening to the older sister’s retaliatory call.  She was calling to defend her decision not to let her younger sister wear their mother’s dress.  She said it’s what her mother would have wanted.

Again…the older sister said she was putting herself in their mother’s shoes and their mother would be completely against her younger daughter wearing her wedding dress!

I don’t get it.

I’m an older sister.  I would totally give my sister the dress.  If I had worn it or not.  If I somehow, in my crazy mind thought my mom would be against it, she would still have the dress. 

That’s what sisters do.  They do things for each other.  They go out of their way to make each other happy.  They make sacrifices.  They let the other have their way.  As a sister and a mom, I can’t imagine the mother feeling any other way.

So, I called my sister up, and I told her, if my mom had given me her wedding dress, there wouldn’t be an issue. If she wanted it, it would be hers.

{Emily and Me on my wedding day.}

Krystyn and Emily at The Serious Wedding

What would you do?  I have a feeling I know the answer.  But, I still want to know your thoughts. 

{My sister found my dress for me.  It was the very first one she picked up.  Emily, you know, if you want that dress one day you could totally have it.  Unless, of course, you look better in it than me.}

PhotoStory Friday
Hosted by Cecily and Caitlin
Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious

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  1. That totally must be it…the older sister knows that younger sister could totally rock the dress! 😉

  2. I would totally give my little sister the dress!!! It's funny that you post this because we are actually going dress shopping on Saturday for my little sister's wedding!!!
    I could never imagine acting like that with her…sisters are amazing, mine are my best friends!!

  3. I am a younger sister. My sister and I wore the same dress. She picked it out and I thought it was beautiful so when I got married six months later I asked if I could wear it. I don't even think she had to think about it. (Plus, my dad sort of thought the dress was his anyways since he paid for it, so I don't think she would have been allowed to say no.)

  4. I don't get how she thinks that's what the mom would have wanted. Of course the mom would want the younger sister to be able to wear it!

    Gorgeous pic of the two of you!

  5. There is obviously something more going on with those radio sisters. I would give my sister my dress in a heartbeat. Jealousy maybe? Crazy if you ask me.

  6. Wow..who does the older sister think she is?!?
    I totally dont get it at all!

    That picture is just BEAUTIFUL!! You girls looked amazing! (and still do!!)

  7. There must be some other issues in this relationship that weren't discussed on the radio. I can't imagine thinking your own mother would agree with you in such a situation. Crazy, mixed up girl.

  8. I would totally let the my sister have it, but not sure if my sis would let me lol.
    She didn't let me have the name Natalia for my daughter, she said she wrote it down on a piece of paper when she was in the 8th grade and put it in a shoe box, that is the name she wants for her unborn daughter, lol. I let her have the name, and much happier with my Isabella.

  9. a) you two look amazing! seriously so beautiful!!

    b) this story is just sad on so many levels. sad. sad.

  10. Well….

    If I were the older sister…nope, I just can't do it.

    I love the idea of passing wedding dresses around the family. My wife wore the dress that her mother and her grandmother (as well as her sister and her aunt) wore.

    I hope one day that one, or both, of my daughters will be able to wear it too.

  11. I think that I would have to. I don't know that I could live with myself if I didn't. But, I'm also thinking there's probably more to the radio story than you were lead to believe…maybe something they can't talk about publicly.

  12. Sparkette says:

    All I can think of is ewww. That older sister is being ugly. I mean really? Does she think that her mother would not want her to share the dress?!

    I would share the dress. That wouldn't be my job to say no.

  13. If I did have a sister I would totally let her have the dress!

    And you look so beautiful on your wedding day!

  14. Absolutely, the dress would be her, how can she think that her Mom would *not* want both daughters an equal chance.

    My sister wore my veil at her wedding and my veil was my favorite part of my wedding attire.

    You are so right, that is what a sister would do.

  15. Wow! I cannot even believe that there are people in the world like that. Just wow.

    You looked beautiful in your dress 🙂

  16. Holy COW!

    I have FOUR sisters… two older and two younger. I can't see any of them (or myself) being selfish enough to keep the dress!

  17. You made me cry. I am so proud of both you and your sister. And I would never want you to fight over anything of mine especially after I die. I am sure you are both going to fight over all my GOLD jewelry I know how much you both like gold.

  18. People can be so odd about material items. I would hope I'd give my sister the dress.
    On another note. On my recent anniversary I showed my near 4 year old my preserved (in a neat window box) dress. She said 'ohhhhh mommy' can I wear it? I said if she wanted to when she was older she could. I almost sold it years ago and now I am SOOO glad I did not!
    That older sister needs to check her motive of heart 😉

  19. Like you, I would totally let my sister have the dress.

    Cute picture of you two! You are a gorgeous bride!

  20. I agree. I'd give her the dress. It's always so sad to see families get so wrapped up in petty fights over stuff. Because stuff is just that, stuff.

    Beautiful picture of the two of you, though.

  21. Well, of course I'd give her the dress! In really big areas of my life, though, I've come to realize that I prioritize my kids above my sister, and that makes me a little sad. For instance, I haven't visited the UK in years, and I have yet to meet my new nephew.

    I felt a lot of guilt in leaving for college when my sister was 7, and almost quit school once to go home and help raise her.

  22. My older sister found my dress for me…she knows me so well. I was the last to get married but I know for sure my sisters and I would have shared my mother's dress. That is what sisters do.

    What a wonderful picture of you and your sister!

  23. That is sort of heartbreaking. I feel so badly for the younger sister! I'm sure the older sister is greiving her breakup and her mother's death but still – ouch!

    ps. great pic of you and your sister. Aren't you happy your girls will enjoy the kind of realtionship you and your sister have!

  24. Of COURSE I would give my younger sister the dress! That is SO strange… but not everyone is close to their siblings (I did a siblings post yesterday and it was interesting to see all the different perspectives — especially that we all want our children to be close no matter what our sibling experience was like).

  25. Oh there must be more going on there!
    I'm the older sister, I would totally give my younger the dress.

  26. I am always amazed when siblings get into these tit-for-tat spats. I don't get it either. Maybe she can't let go of the dress because she sees it as a part of her mom??? Why wouldn't the mom approve of the younger sister wearing her dress? That seems really odd to me. Maybe she felt the older sister was entitled to it, like a dowry? I'm with you, I would have given it to my sister if she got married first and I would still hope to wear it as well someday. Why do people allow material objects or money to destroy their relationships?

    Great post! Who knew PSF would be so controversial?! lol

  27. First of all, you were a gorgeous bride.
    Second of all, a woman should be stripped of the title of sister for behaving that way. No excuses.
    Third, even though my sister wears a size 0 (after two kids) and I wear a size 96358635 (baby Lasagne, thank you), I'd give her any article of clothing she wants, even if she has to wrap it around her body 78 times.

  28. Your sister and you would both look just as beautiful, whichever dress you wear. Sadly, I have no sister, only three brothers, and I could never be in your shoes, or in this case, dress. I do know that my 3 brothers all stood up for me and protected me whenever I needed help when we were kids…

  29. Are you kidding? What a terrible older sister. Of course she should give the dress to her sister. And get some therapy.

  30. You girls are so gorgeous – what beautiful sisters!!

    And that other sister, the one on the radio? Total B. 😉 Whatever… Obviously THEY have issues…

  31. Thanks for the sweet post! It was fun finding your dress—-as long as we got the butt bow removed!!! Thanks for calling and posting that you'd let me wear it! I'd never look better than you in YOUR dress….I picked it for YOU! If I ever get married we'll stress about the dress then!

  32. Grrr. Stories like this just make me so angry. Family member fighting over something like this. EGAD! Of course both of the sisters should be able to wear the dress. Good grief. I would be so disappointed if my daughters were fighting over my dress. Come on girls.

  33. You are both so beautiful! Share the dress 🙂
    I have a give away on my blog and wanted to make sure you don't miss it. I will not link my party on any other party.

  34. Definitely some jealousy going on there! And probably as part of her grief the older sister doesn't want to let go of being the first one to wear the mom's dress. It's really sad.

    My sister (older) and I are pretty close but when I got married first she did some unreasonably rude things that came off completely as jealousy. It's sad… Anyway, I would without a doubt give my sister the dress as any mother would want her daughter to wear it, not just the older daughter or the one she thought was getting married first.

    Great post!

  35. Yikes. I think there is so much going on with them and it truly makes me sad that she won't let her wear it?

    I mean, she is the daughter as well…why wouldn't the mom want her to wear it?!

    I must say that you and your sister are gorgeous! Oh–and I would totally let me sister wear my dress. In a heartbeat, no question to it.


  36. If I had a sister, I would give her my dress, too. In a heart beat.

  37. I'd give my sister my dress. I'd give her anything she wanted. But considering the fact that she's probably going to have the exact same guests at her wedding as I did mine since her groom will most likely be my groom's brother, I think she'll probably pass 🙂

  38. Stephanie Phelps says:

    I would let her wear it no problem or at least I think I would I was never blessed with a sister so.. I do love the last part where you say unless you look better in it that was hilarious. I think you would totally make a great sister! 🙂

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