Never saying “I would never…” M&MM 260th ed


“How could he/she do that? I would never do that.

I know I hear people say this all the time. You hear something on the news, a story relayed by a friend, and immediately, you judge and think or even speak you could never do that.

I’ve learned very quickly in my parenting and mothering that I just can’t say “I would never…” because we change, we make mistakes and we fail. Often.

Most of the time, for myself, it’s not knowing any better. Yes, I tried to put our intact carseat in the top of a grocery cart (it wouldn’t fit, thankfully, and I’ve since learned this is dangerous!!). We’ve had a trip to the ER because I didn’t know about bolting dressers and furniture to the walls. We’ve had a fall on the stairs that resulted in a cast on one leg and an ambulance ride to the hospital for another daughter. If this is where you feel the need to comment about our lack of paying attention or anything else rude, just click away now. Because your level of perfect is no match for me!

Yesterday, Mr. Serious and I took the youngest two to the grocery store while the older two were at AWANA. This is completely out of routine for us. Wrong day, wrong adults wrong kids. All just off. We had a happy little baby in her carrier and a very helpful almost three year old pushing her cart around the store. Oh and she was loud. 

We bagged our groceries and headed to the car. I opened B’s side and buckled her into her seat, E crawled through the middle, grabbed her sister’s toy and got in her seat. Mr. Serious handed me the keys, (he was driving…also, out of the norm) and he returned the cart to the corral. I got in the passenger side and started the car. 

Mr. Serious came back, got in the car and we headed back home.

About 2 traffic lights from home, E asks me a question and I turn around to talk to her.



Yes. Me. I did. I was out of routine of walking around to the driver’s side like I normally do. I did things differently and I forgot to buckle my most precious cargo into her carseat. One of the things that I’m most diligent about (car seat safety). We take jackets off before getting in them. We readjust them every time.

But you know what?


We were stopped at a traffic light and I immediately unbuckled myself (yes, I did. Save it!) and turned around and buckled her. I apologized many times to her and Mr. Serious (being so very thankful that nothing happened).

One little change in my routine, or a series of bigger ones and I did (or didn’t) do something I’m certain I could have said I would have never done. 

Mommy and Me Monday | I would never

I still don’t know which part had me not buckle her in. And I won’t ever know. But, I’m making myself quadrupole check all seats all buckles and all seat belts because I don’t want it to happen again. (While I would like to say it will never happen again, I know that I can’t guarantee that! I sure will try!)

Sweet E, I’m so glad that you are okay, that nothing happened and that you will forgive me. Because I need a lot of grace as a mom. I screw up. I will screw up. But, I will give you my best and strive for even better. I know that I’m not perfect. I know that I can’t ever safely say “I would never” because if I did, I know I’d be lying to myself and to you!

It’s time again for Mommy and Me Monday. Pop out from behind that camera and capture yourself in action with your kids. Check out the inaugural Mommy and Me Monday for more information. Need another reason to participate in Mommy and Me Monday? Read my post about why I blog with words from a friends’ husband. 

**There really is only one requirement here, a picture of you and your baby or babies; your children, your “baby” (ie significant other) or even your fur babies. If your picture doesn’t feature you (meaning you must be in the picture), I will have to delete your link. It’s not fair to the others that follow the rules.*

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  1. *big hugs* We had something similar happen after a grocery trip a few months ago. I was in tears and feeling absolutely awful. My husband reminded me that he had forgotten once as well because he got so used to me doing it and I wasn’t there. I’m so happy that E is safe and appreciate your honesty.

    1. Thank you! It totally sucks…. but I’m so glad to hear I’m not alone. I feel like we don’t have a community of building up so much as tearing people down. We all make mistakes, right? And, if you say you don’t??? Then, I’m pretty sure you are lying! (You is not you, but the collective you!)

  2. i have done this too. Lizzie all of the sudden screamed out, “I’m not buckled in!” I’m anal about car seat safety too, so I cried. Thank goodness everything was okay.

    1. I think she would have normally, if she wasn’t so into her sister’s toy! Yeah, it wasn’t my best moment for sure!

      1. It happens. I tend to blame Mommy Brain and the million other things we have to remember. I almost forgot to pick my daughter up from school one day. Mother of the year award right here. :/

  3. I did this once with Amelia years ago. It is such an awful feeling once you realize, isn’t it?! Fear, beating yourself up, yet SO thankful that nothing happened. I’m very glad all is well for you guys too!

    1. Yes, so very, very glad. I’m already having a hard time forgiving myself. I can’t even imagine if something happened.

  4. It’s true – a little change in routine can throw you off! I was also a quadruple checker – I also used to tell them that the car wouldn’t start without their seatbelts buckled. And it worked, too,

    1. My oldest two will always tell me if they don’t have their seat belts on yet. We did tell the almost three year old to let us know if her seat is off again!

  5. I forgot to buckle my son in his booster seat once after a trip to the grocery store. Actually it was at a time when he was buckling himself in and I would check…but I forgot to check. Luckily I didn’t get out of the parking lot before noticing . These things happen, we have to forgive ourselves.

    1. Most definitely…and I think we have to be more supportive of each other, too. So many times, there are people that are quick to judge, when they need to slow down and really think about it.

  6. Glad everyone is ok! I know how scary that was and how shitty you felt afterwards. Hubs & I forgot to buckle Gage in when he was about 6 months. Luckily we only drove 2 blocks, but 2 blocks is 2 blocks. We both felt awful but everyone was ok so I stopped beating myself up. We are human.

  7. Natalie F says:

    Thanks for the honest post. I have had a few moments that stop my heart and I think of how it could have had a bad outcome, it happens to all of us. I think it is so important to share because it could help other moms. When my daughter was 2, I got her out of the tub and was going to get her in pajamas in her room. I didn’t have any, so I ran down to the laundry room to get them out of the dryer. I didn’t drain the tub, and she went BACK INTO the bathroom and got in the tub.
    I came upstairs and saw her sitting in the tub. My hear stopped, what if I had gotten distracted while downstairs and taken more than a minute? And a million other ‘what ifs’. Now we have a family rule that we always, always, drain the tub RIGHT away.

    1. Natalie F says:

      The carseat thing has happened to us too. We encourage our kids to help be our reminders as well. And we triple check. It is scary. This parenting gig is not easy. 🙂

  8. Moms are human. As much as we hate to admit it, we make mistakes! But that doesn’t make us bad moms. I did this to my daughter a couple years ago. We had just finished eating lunch in the car after a long hike, and were driving down a mountain pass. I looked into the rear view mirror and what did I see? My one-year old standing up in her car seat, looking out the front window, having the time of her life. I have never felt more horrible that I did in that moment, and I thank God nothing happened to her. On the bright side, it was pretty funny seeing her unbelievably excited expression to be facing forward as we drove down the mountain!

  9. This could have been us a few weeks ago. Same situation, no chest clip. Beau nearly got OUT of his car seat but as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, was able to tell us, “I need a snap!”

  10. Been there, done that, luckily we all survived to tell the tale. We try our best. Luckily they will soon tell you if you forgot something.

  11. Yep. Stuff happens. Especially when we are not in our routine or distracted by something on our minds. No one is perfect. We just need to keep doing our best:)

  12. Same thing here! I always buckle the big girl first while the baby is still in the carrier but we didn’t have the carrier, she climbed in, I buckled him and I started to drive. Panic moment but thankfully we didn’t even leave the parking lot! Glad all was well!

  13. I think we’ve all done it at least once. If it happens with the bigger kids now it’s funny how loud they are about not being ready. At least I know I’ve taught them well that we can’t go anywhere without our seat belts on.

  14. We have all done something like this! The important thing is that everyone was ok, and that you were honest and brave to share your story. It’s a great “you’re not alone” moment for moms and dads everywhere!

  15. I’ve done this too. It’s totally scary and unnerving. And when I did it, it was on one of those crazy mornings where I was running late and rushing around like a lunatic. Definitely forced me to pause and take stock.

  16. pat chance says:

    it’s crazy how auto pilot trains us in so many things. Did we close the garage, did I turn off the stove, did I lock the door, did I buckle my child in. Thank goodness for the Holy Ghost who gently reminds us of these things before something terrible does happen.

    Which of the 2 bigs un-did their car seat while you were driving? I can’t remember.

  17. I’ve been there! Usually O just starts screaming, “I’m not buckled!” before we get moving. It’s scary how auto-pilot can take over sometimes. No judging here!

  18. You’re only human and these things happen! Thankfully everyone was OK. We’ve all been there and I’m sure we’ll be there again. Guessing you won’t forget to buckle her in again….. 🙂

  19. I’ve been a lot more forgiving especially since my son has only had 2 bad food allergy reactions to food…I gave him MYSELF.

    First, I thought it was such a small amount of fish that it couldn’t possibly bother him.
    Second, he begged to taste a protein bar I’d received in a swag bag and by the time he put it in his mouth – I read that the first ingredient was peanut butter.

    Go ahead and forgive yourself.
    Our children have already done it!

  20. Big hugs! I am so sorry that this happened to you and as much as we say that we’ll never be that parent, things happen. And we’re human! While we thank our lucky stars that everything turned out ok we also have to forgive ourselves and realize that it *could* happen again even though we never intend it to. xo

  21. We have all been there the other day my 9 almost year old did not buckel her self in because she was so busy talking to me about her day. It wont be the last time.. thank god we have someone watching out for us.

    1. My 8 and 6 year olds will usually yell at me if I start the van before they are buckled. I need to work on the now 3 year old!

  22. Oh, yes, we all need a lot of grace, a lot of forgiveness, and to cut each other some slack. Years ago while watching my niece (and also off the normal routine), I got home to realize that while my son was safely in his car seat and she safely in hers, I forgot to buckle her infant seat in! I didn’t have a base and used the belt to secure the seat each time we went out. With my mom in town and her helping me, but not knowing that detail (or maybe thinking I would do it); and me knowing I had help but not thinking about her not doing it; for me not double checking. Like you said, no matter where we fell off the routine there, it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad that we did make it home safely and I’ve been extra cautious about the kids’ and their car seats, booster seats, & seat belts ever since. But definitely can’t say it would never happen again because we’re all human and make mistakes.

    1. Oh goodness…you totally reminded me of a time I did this. I was with our college’s basketball coach on a trip to Disneyland. There weren’t bases, or they weren’t as common and I didn’t buckle the seat into the car. So thankful that nothing happened then, either.

  23. Glad your daughter is okay. I’m sorry it happened, but it was a mistake and you will make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Things have happened with my kids that are scary too and I’ve learned it’s important to forgive yourself and move on.

    1. It’s such a good thing we can forgive ourselves…and our kids do, too!

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