The things nobody told you your significant other could experience after having a baby
When my sister was getting ready to have her first child, I gave her the run down: the things you might not know to expect after having a baby. And, still after three years she asks me “why didn’t you tell me about that?” So, I guess I forgot some things. Or maybe blocked them or left them out. It’s very likely the blocking is the culprit
But, it never dawned on me to tell my husband all the things. Or to tell her husband. And, well, I don’t think the men or significant others get together and tell each other what to expect after their wife or significant other has a baby. So, I’m here to help and change all of that. Feel free to just print it out and forward to him. Because some parents have no idea what’s about to happen!
I present to you, in no particular order:
The Things Nobody Told You Your Significant Other Could Experience After Having a Baby
Because you need to be prepared.
She will not leave the hospital in her pre-baby body or clothes.
It took 9 months to grow a baby in that body. It takes time to go back if it ever does. Be supportive of this. While we are talking about clothes, know there is a good chance there will be a clothes breakdown. “I don’t have any clothes that fit” will likely be spoken many times. Maternity clothes are too big. Pre-baby clothes are too small for a while. Be okay with some in-between clothes purchases.
The adult-sized pads and netty panties
Yes. I went there. But, I think the men have no idea. You will need something to catch all of those fluids that kept your baby safe for 9 months. They don’t come out all at once. And it’s not neat or pretty or fun. But, it’s part of the process.
She will cry for no reason
The emotions are all over the place. She might cry just looking at you. Or your baby. And they could be happy tears. Or sad tears. Or I don’t know what the heck is wrong with me tears. For most women, it’s totally normal. But, keep an eye on it. Postpartum depression and anxiety are very real too, and it’s not a joking matter.
The shower and the sink will be clogged
Of course it’s different for everybody, but around months 3-5 postpartum, the hair loss begins. And it’s kind of crazy. Like chunks of hair in the shower, on the bathroom floor and pretty much everywhere. Hair. All over the place. And bald or bald-ish spot because apparently it likes to jump ship from the same general spot on the head at the same time.
The sweats
Night sweats, day sweats, middle of the afternoon sweats. Those hormones do a number on our bodies and apparently sweating is the result. And once the sweating is done, you are left wet and cold. It’s really good fun!
The recovery time
It really does take 6-8 weeks for things to recover and heal. And even after that and the doctor giving the go ahead for “relations” to happen, that doesn’t mean she will be ready. So, men, practice your patience. Lots of patience.
Granny panties aren’t just for grannies
They are for moms too and they are oh so comfortable. Lingerie? Thing of the past. And, thongs…let’s not even talk about those. (Right, I know some women love those things, but most I’ve talked to are a firm no. So, I’ll set the expectations low and you can be pleasantly surprised if things are different for you.)
The girls will never be the same
And I mean never. Truly. At least without professional help or at the very least a really good bra.
Sleep
She will never sleep quite the same again. The mom senses are strong and she will know when your baby and child and teenager coughs or sneezes. Moms know. And I’m convinced it never goes away.
All the things leak
When I accidentally had my daughter at home, one of the first things the midwife asked my husband was to check the “leaking”.
In addition, the breasts will likely leak. More than once. In fact, most likely often. It’s just a perk, really. Who doesn’t love sticky shirts?
And, let’s not forget the light bladder leaks when jumping, running, exercising, dancing, laughing, sneezing, heavy lifting. Okay, basically just living. During a bootcamp class I attend, the instructor always says “and here’s an alternative to jumping rope for those with ‘mommy issues’” The first time my husband attended this class, he looked at me crazy-like. “What is this woman talking about?”
Turns out, he didn’t know about the sneezing, coughing, jumping, laughing and life-inducing bladder leaks. Before you stop reading, just like there are disposable diapers for night time accidents for bigger kids because there is more than one bigger kid in the world that needs them, there are products for moms and women with light bladder leaks because it’s a pretty common issue.
Check me out jumping on the trampoline leak free!
Their hearts can grow exponentially
It’s really amazing women continue to have babies, but we seriously forget like most of this after having them and decide to do it all over again. So, just remember that us women need lots of encouragement and support after having babies because some of these gifts keep on giving!
Our hearts will continue to grow and love. We really do wear our hearts outside of ourselves with those kids and we couldn’t do it without you.
What’s something you wish your significant other (or you) knew could happen after having a baby?
Yes! All very good things to know. I was shocked that I had to wear a pad for 4-6 weeks after labor. I had no idea about all the loss of fluid. I had read so many baby books but I don’t remember reading ANYTHING about that. And all the blood loss was a bit scary. Did I just skip over that chapter? What the heck? Shocking.
I am also shocked that after 4 kids I have zero leaky issues. It is a miracle. Every woman I’ve talked to has leaky issues. How did I escape this?
Right…I was like, shouldn’t this last a couple days or something? Come on body! And, no, that wasn’t in a single book I remember reading. Nor was there anything about clots. Or the nurses “massaging” your uterus after giving birth.
And, I certainly hope you were knocking on wood when you said that…I’m not jealous or anything!
Dead spot on with so many of those. Dying on the underwear. Give me the giant underpants. And all the comfort!