Trying to not let my own insecurities get in the way


Birthday parties. They give me serious anxiety. Not going, but having them. Planning them.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I have birthday party paralysis, but it’s close. When Mr. Serious wants to start talking about planning a birthday party for the oldest two (remember, one day apart), I dodge it. I change the subject, come up with something else, or just ask if we can just hang at home with the family and a cake and call it a success.

But, it’s not fair to them.

It’s not fair to them that I let my own insecurities get in the way of them having a party. I worry about the invites, will they be cute enough? And the party, will the kids and adults have fun? The RSVPs, will they actually come?

This is the biggest stress for me. I want the girls to have fun, and not to be sad or wonder if their classmates don’t like them. I want them to feel loved. Of course, this year it’s not unwarranted. #2 asks on the way to school and on the way home “mommy, are my friends coming to my birthday party?” I don’t have it in me to tell her no, and there is only one kid left to hear back from, so pretty sure that’s a no, too. (ETA: Yep, heard from her. No go.) I know she’s the new kid at her school, but I hoped it would help. Instead I worry that it’s because the other parents don’t know us. (And, it could be the fact that one grandma is throwing a party at the same time on the same day after I sent our invites out. So, I guess they chose that party over #2’s.)

And, then I know it’s just me. Because I still worry about new people liking me. Liking us. Liking the girls. And, it’s like middle school and high school all over again.

But, we do it. Because they deserve a party! And they will have fun with all the adults that are here to honor them!

Girls Birthday Invite

And the people that don’t come? Well they will be missing out! Because we always throw some pretty awesome parties.

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  1. I get anxious about planning anything and I’m already feeling the pressure of trying to plan my son’s first party. It’s 5 months away, but I have to plan it during Christmas break because I’ll be in exam study mode the 2 months prior.

    I hope #2 has an awesome party despite the hiccups.

    1. It’s crazy stressful. For birthday number 1…I think a small, family party is the way to go…it’s so crazy and they (the kiddos) really don’t care/remember anyways. So make it stress-free and enjoyable for you!

  2. I am with you on the anxiety of birthday parties. I had that with Will’s last year. Since we will be in Chicago this year, his will probably be low key. We will make a big deal of it, but I am sure he wishes his friends could come.

    Your invite was awesome! Colorful, creative and to the point. We are having Eli’s on Saturday too.

    1. I’m personally a fan of the low key celebrations!


  3. rms. hils says:

    I know a couple of boys who would be happy to come if you want extra kids. They probably aren’t as fun as the girls from school, but I’ll supply them if you want! 🙂

  4. This is so hard for me too sometimes. I mean, especially the “who will show up part” – that always stresses me out too! And hey, at least the girls will have the bounce house mostly to themselves. I call that a party right there!! 😉

    1. No kidding. If only I could convince them to bounce on their own and call it a day!

  5. I totally understand this. I really do. I have yet to give my kids a birthday party that is not with family. I think I need to just suck up my fears and do it… for them.

    1. And, a party for three kiddos at the same time and all of their friends? I don’t blame you one bit!

  6. pat chance says:

    your invitations are great. Joe and I have been at several birthday parties you and mr. serious have thrown. They have all been great. Adults and kids have all enjoyed. Just keep mr. serious away from grilling the burgers.

  7. the invites are adorable. and i know the party is going to be wonderful.

    and that’s all that matters 🙂

  8. Dude, you are totally brave. I am dreading the day when one of the Littles shuns my family-only birthday dinner celebrations and asks for a Real party. Especially when it comes to goody bags. And games. And clean up….

    1. We don’t have local family, so for a party, we need some others.

      But, goody bags? Don’t do them. It ends up in the trash. Check out the dollar spot at Tarjay and get books or coloring books or something like that. Way better than the plastic toys.

      Clean up? Eh. It’s not really that bad. Especially if you have it outside:)

  9. Been there done that! I have gone through so much birthday party anxiety over the years and it’s silly because I always look back and think…yeah, I did it, I pulled it off and it was a pretty darn good party! I have found though, it’s who I am, it’s how I operate as a human being, I get freaked out beforehand but it’s a self-motivator as well so I don’t find the anxiety any more. Just go with and use it to your advantage and it will all work out just fine!

    1. I’m a worrier…and anxiety-er. It turned out awesome, of course…and I’ll just have to remind myself next year!

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