7 Things You Should Never Say To A Mom Of A Redhead
I was standing at an event, B in her carrier, talking to a couple women. It had been cold outside, so she had a hat on her head. As we started to thaw out and warm up, I took her hat off.
The gasps and combined silence were audible in the entire store.
“OMG! HER HAIR! SHE HAS RED HAIR! OH, HOW I LOVE RED HAIR. IT’S THE BEST COLOR IN THE WORLD! SHE’S JUST BEAUTIFUL!”
Just imagine that in quadruplicate in that loud, excited, high pitch squeaky voice. Because that’s totally how it is any time we go anywhere in public.
(Props to the substitute FedEx delivery man today who was greeted but the whole crew and just went on about how blessed I am. Thank you, sir. You win!)
When we were in New Orleans, people actually stopped us on the street to ask to look at her, to comment on her hair color, on her “ginger” status, to tell us what to expect from a fiery redhead. Please, I use lavender oil in her room to keep her calm…this mama does NOT play. Of course, the comments didn’t stop. One lady actually was speaking to us in a foreign language and gesturing to B’s head. The homeless people actually yelled to us to comment.
I get it, people think she’s a unicorn.
(Somebody tagged me in a picture on IG with a shirt that said this. I can’t remember who it was. They said they got their shirt on Zulily, which means I couldn’t find it, so I made my own. Plus, this unicorn is way more majestic!)
Some of my favorite questions asked /statements made:
“Is that natural?”
No. We dye it. Haven’t you seen those boxes of hair dye for babies?
“Is she yours?”
Nope, just found her on the corner. Isn’t that where all babies come from?
“That is red hair.”
Yes. You are correct.
“Where does she get her red hair?”
Recessive genes. (I’ve tried various fun for me answers. They just don’t work here for some reason!)
“Where did that hair come from?”
She grew it. From her head.
“Look at that little ginger / cherry head.”
I’m looking.
“Can I touch her hair?“
Um. No.
I’m not complaining. I agree. She’s beautiful.
ALL OF MY GIRLS ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Yet, when they say all of that to the three red heads, and then turn to E “Oh, your hair is nice, too” I want to throat punch them. What are you saying to my kid? She’s not as awesome because she doesn’t have red hair? I assure you, she’s equally awesome! Also, I’m totally jealous of her hair!
From now on, I shall happily refer to these three as my majestic unicorns. And continue to answer all of the questions.
But, if E gets an afterthought of a compliment on her cuteness or her hair, watch out for full-force mama bear (I’m looking at you, ladies at Target!)
Do you get a lot of the same comments/ questions over and over again when out with your kids? What do people say/ask?
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I love all of your girl’s hair! I loved that E let me help her get the purple icing out of her adorable curls this past weekend! I am a huge fan of curls and redheads:)
That should be “girls’ hair!” Silly autocorrect likes to make me look stupid!
The plural possessives aren’t friend with autocorrect at all!
And, she wanted to keep that icing in there forever!
Oooh, for us it’s the glasses, hands down. Usually compliments, but sometimes odd self-esteem pick-me-ups that she DOES NOT NEED. Also the genius “wow she’s tall” observations and the “that’s a big baby!” for Andrew. Yep, my kids are tall. One has glasses. They are both awesome and smart and perfect little (er… tall) people.
Ahh…yes, we get all of the tall/tiny/skinny/big comments, too. Guess what, kids don’t come from boxes! I wish people would just have a standard comment or just smile and keep walking!
Awwww! E is the unicorn in your family because she’s blond!
We have a unicorn heavy family!
We get those comments all the time – we have four unicorns and a brunette. Drives me nuts. I normally tell him how happy I am that he matches me and his dad.
Oh, that’s a good idea! People try to analyze both of us and say that I have red hair or “features”. Freckles, I guess?
“You’re done having children, right?” Referring to the fact I now have a beautiful boy & girl. The question, “Hoping for a boy, huh?” When I was pregnant was equally annoying. First of all, girls are awesome. Second, my son is 8 months old. I don’t know if we are ” done”. Do I have to decide? Can’t I just see where life takes us? Why does it matter that I have “one of each”? Isn’t the saying the more the merrier?
I wish I could explain that whole “family” thing. Obviously, we get the boy questions all the time! Should you expand your family more, be prepared for even worse comments.
I love this. Your girls are just gorgeous! (And they just look SO MUCH like sisters… I wish I looked like anyone in my family.) 🙂 I’ve got two majestic unicorns… and I’m going to start calling them that!
We definitely have strong genes. It was the same way with my sister and I growing up. Even with our cousins. And, my mom and her sisters! I bet you look more alike than you think!
Unicorns are awesome!
It IS really pretty! 🙂 But yes, all of their hair is. I get comments on my kids’ blonde hair, all of them have had really light hair when younger. “Toe Head” has been said A LOT around my kids!!
Throat punch….nice. Look out Target security guard!
It’s always fun being a conspicuous family. People completely forget your older children have the capability of hearing and speaking for themselves. The good part is, they get to (hopefully) learn graceful ways of answering questions about their looks. Love all your girls! And their folks, too.
As a redhead, I used to get asked about my hair a lot… not so much now…
when I was a kid and they asked where I got my red hair from, my mom taught me to say Sears and Roebuck. (Not sure why that store, but that was always my answer)
They are all so cute!
Funny, I work in an office of 18 people and 3 are gingers!
I love so much that you have embraced your daughters’ unicorn status – all of us are special and unique – some of the singularity is more obvious than others and it’s our jobs as parents to celebrate it all – which it sounds like you are doing!
Krystyn you are too funny. I have a blonde son and I get a lot of the same questions. Just beautiful!
I have one with curly hair. A French woman came up to us at the grocery store, held my daughter’s face between her hands, and pronounce daughter “une petite poupee, a leetle doll.”
I know I hate it when people compliment one of my kids and not the other. Or when they just comment on how different they look. I know they mean well but it gets old and my kids get annoyed by it! Well, Kay does, I’m sure Bee will when she gets older. Not everything is about looks, people!
She’s undeniably cute…actually the 4 of them. From the smiles, I can tell that your family is awesome. I think you have reared them all well. Kudos to you!
All 4 of your girls are simply beautiful! It’s amazing how people latch on to something and won’t let go. I had a lot of weird comments during both pregnancies about my belly. Thankfully, those have ended. 😉 When my son was an infant, I was often told how beautiful my little girl was. Admittedly, bald babies all sort of look alike, but I can assure you he didn’t have any pink clothes! I finally gave up correcting strangers and just said “thanks.” Told my husband it must mean we have a beautiful child so whatever. Then I joked that we’ll probably get comments about our “handsome son” with our daughter. Guess what? It’s happened twice – once while she was in her car seat with pink blanket & cover. I also often hear about my kids’ big brown eyes. Something my siblings and I heard over and over again during our childhoods.
Thank you! And, yes, they really do. It’s a tie between the red hair and the all girls thing!
And, when pregnant with #3 and #4, lots of comments, too!
And, people constantly called all of my girls boys. Even dressed in pink with flowers, bows, hearts.
Never had comments on their eyes:) So, you are lucky there!
I get it, I’m one of those people absolutely dazzled by natural red hair. But as a mom, I also know how irritating it is to see see one child fawned over in public while the other is there feeling left out.
I get the “are they yours?” question a lot because I’m a brunette with pale skin while I’ve got one pale child with blonde hair and two brunettes with curly hair and darker skin like their dad. And despite the skin/hair differences, they ALL look exactly like their dad. I’m not sure they got any of my DNA. lol
When we go to a Japanese restaurant here, people come and pet the girls. I guess there aren’t many redheads in Japan:) My poor little 2 year old says she’s not cute to other people because they all fawn over her sisters. I hurts my heart.
Funny, I think your kids look like you. Yes, they look like your hubby, but they totally look like you, too. Maybe it’s your cheeks and eyes?
AS a redhead I used to threaten my mom that I’d dye my hair purple.
It took me 41+ years, but I finally did it. 😉
It’s fine to say a few things, like beautiful or whatever, but if there are kids around w.o red hair who are just as beautiful? WTH, people????
Your girls are gorgeous. The whole lot of ’em!
That is pretty awesome! My aunt jokes that because she helped me dye my hair red when I was 13, I now have three red heads!
People are totally idiots sometimes!
Thank you:)
I am asked all the time if my boys are TWINS! They are almost 4 years apart and definitely different in size. It doesn’t make me upset, I just get confused LOL!
People ask if our girls are twins or triplets, too!
I guess I’m only bothered because they exclude the one non-redhead…and well, they are all listening!
All your children are gorgeous! I do love a red headed baby as well though …only out of complete jealousy!! My little one used to have super curls-ringlets and now her hair is really long and the curls just sort of fell out for some reason . . She used to get what your baby now gets . . . My other littles really started to resent her curls (so sad–people made them despise her curls), I think the loss of her curls were a blessing. Now my MIL asks me every time we see her if I purposely straighten my daughter’s hair, she makes me want to throat punch her for it! It will not get better I am sad to tell you, coming from a flaming red!!
Right….because every mom likes taking the time to straighten their kid’s hair?!? I don’t even like doing my own!
I’m actually super bummed the oldest has lost almost all of her curls. I hope that N keeps hers!
That stinks that her siblings started to resent it, but that’s really what I’m worried about so I try very hard to balance it.
Hopefully, people don’t pet you anymore? Maybe?
I am a mommy of a beautiful RED head. ..
Yay! You are both luck to have each other!!!
I’m a 21 year old red head, and in my experience it hasn’t stopped but it certainly slowed down a bit. When people ask where mine came from I typically respond “my daddy’s mustache” because it’s the same color. I’ve learned to embrace it but I still get kind of creeped out by people walking up and touching it in the grocery store without asking me. I may be a unicorn, but I am not a dog.
I’ve also dyed a small portion of my hair purple a couple of times, my mother was not very happy with me haha 🙂
Your girls will get used to it, we all do. They’ll grow into their fiery personalities since that’s what allows us to fend off the weirdos trying to play with our hair wherever we go.
Yikes…21 and people still say silly things! Maybe I should have my girls say their daddy’s sideburns because he has some red there!
They definitely embrace their red and talk about how much they like it, but people touching it? It’s just weird, right? I want to say “please don’t pet my daughter!”
You know, if dying it purple was one of the most rebellious things you did, then I think you are doing alright!!
And, they are all pretty fiery already, put they tolerate a lot, too. I can’t wait until they don’t anymore and start speaking up!
Now go flaunt that gorgeous red hair.
All of my kids had varying shades of red when they where born. I am also a natural reddish blonde. I think the absolute funniest time (now not then) was with my 1st born. I was in labor & his head had just came out & everyone was telling my husband, “Come here look at his hair!” His was bright fiery red. For Meir was like hello can I finish delivering him 1st. Lol!!
That is hilarious..of course, looking back!
That was the first thing I said to our 4th (after I said “I love you!”) because I was so surprised after #3 didn’t have red hair.
Funny! Our second child, Joseph, was a red hair boy! Our girls had long, dark hair! When I was asked: Where did that red hair come from? I would smile really big and say: From my first husband! (Still on my first for 30 years)
Ha! I like that one!
I’m a single dad with 2 girls (7 and 11). I adopted my oldest when she was 14 months old. We decided not to tell her because we really didn’t see a reason. My EXwife is her biological mother. My oldest is tall, thin, and very blonde. My youngest is short, stocky, with brown hair…just like me. She looks exactly like I did when I was her age. Because my oldest looks so much different from me and her sister people make comments about it. Eventually after years of hearing the comments she started asking questions. Eventually she figured out that I’m not her biological dad. I wish people would just shut the bleep up!
One time on a trip to Target when my youngest was 2 there was a little incident. She was sooo cute that people couldn’t help but want to touch her. She was in the cart (not the child seat) and a lady picked her up and that’s when I went off. “Get your hands off of her NOW! Right Now!” The lady of course said that my daughter hugged her. I told her that she’s friendly and unfortunately doesn’t understand how dangerous it is but you should never touch or pick up a kid that you don’t know! I just don’t understand people like that.
I would have LOST MY MIND if somebody picked up one of my kids from the cart, or really anywhere else. You just can’t do that at all!
I’m definitely had some of my most interesting experiences at the store. I’ve had ladies chase me down, flag me down and run after me! It’s just hair!!!
I get a similar (but not really the same I know) reaction to my two boys – one has BRILLIANT blue eyes, the other brown. People carry on like CRAZY over my first boy’s “Gorgeous eyes, he’ll be a lady killer” and my 2nd son gets ignored. Thankfully they are boys so MAYBE this will be less hurtful as they get older but I really feel bad for my little one – who by the way has beautiful big chocolate eyes!!! 🙂
All your kids are beautiful and you ARE so blessed!! (oh and I have a red-headed dad and ALWAYS wished I had his hair – there IS just something about red heads! LOL).
Yes, that’s totally it! Why do people fixate on one thing and act like other things don’t matter? That’s really what drives me crazy!
Blue eyes? Brown eyes? All beautiful!
Thank you very much! I get people saying they wished they had red hair, too, or red-head moms that didn’t have redheaded babies saying they wish they had them!
I get the question, “Where does the red hair come from?” all the time, an it drives me nuts. Didn’t people pay attention in high school biology? RECESSIVE GENES, people!
That said, I’m pretty geeked that at least one of my three has gorgeous red hair. 🙂
Oh, yes!!!! Seriously! I’ve asked people if they remember high school biology and Punnet Squares.
And all three are all equally awesome, aren’t they:)
I am also the mother of 3 gingers and 1 brunette. I generally can’t leave the house without comments from strangers. It also REALLY irritates me when my brunette daughter is effectively ignored while people gush about her siblings. Her hair is also gorgeous, by the way.
I seriously dreaded going to the store the other day because I had to take all of the girls. And, as suspected, we were at the store for a total of 5 minutes and people approached me with comments. I wish that people would think before they speak. And the secondary, “oh you are cute, too” isn’t any better.
I especially feel sorry for my son, who has the reddest hair of the three of them. Poor kid has been barraged by little old ladies his whole life! Lol! “People pay good money for that color, hahaha!” I’m sure you’ve heard that one more than once.
Yep, so many times!
We have a redheaded, blue/green/grey eyed four year old boy, a brunette, brown eyed seven year old daughter, and a nine year old brunette, brown eyed boy. Growing up, I had a reddish-brown hair, but not a vivid, real red like my son. With us, it skipped generations – there are a lot of Romanians (Jewish) on my mother’s side. Her mother was a redhead, my uncle is a redhead, my grandmother’s sister was a redhead (but the oldest sister was a brunette), and the red headed sister had 2 redheads and a daughter with naturally auburn hair. Before that, my grandmother’s grandfather, born in Romania, was the only redhead. On my husband’s side, his mother was auburn and her mother (still alive at 98) was a redhead too. No one remembers any redheads before them. They were all Russian (Jews). I had always wanted a redheaded child, but after our first two kids were born brunettes, I let that go (I have always had a thing about it). Then #3 came and during my C section (we already knew it was a boy), the doctor announces, “It’s a redhead!”. Fast forward four years, his hair is not flaming red anymore, but a very reddish gold. I got my redhead, but get annoyed when my other two kids are ignored. My 7 year old is gorgeous. They really haven’t caught on that everyone fawns all over their brother yet.
It really does stink when they single one out over the others.
My 4 year old gets comments all the time too and when they ask where did she get it from, she’s started answering “I got it when I was a baby.” She has no idea how smart alec she sounds. I love it.
That’s pretty awesome. I’m super sarcastic and I can’t believe my kids haven’t started with snarky responses yet!
I have 3 adult children with RED hair and now 2 of my granddaughters have the red hair. My daughters got most beautiful in high school and were very lucky to have red hair. My son is a very handsome man. Red hair is awesome. Yes when we went anywhere when all 3 kids were young we got many many questions, Especially because their dad has black hair and I have brown hair. #1 question was where does the red hair come from. My answer was always “I do NOT know” lol.
Yep, that’s the number one question here, too!
As a dark red head of 19, I’ve always had people come up to me and tell me how pretty my hair is, either that or if I’ve dyed it, and I always tell them the same thing; you can’t get this color out of a bottle! I have had a few times when someone touched my hair without my permission and I wanted to shy away pretty badly since I hate it when people do that. But all of your daughters are blessed to have their hair color, no matter what it might be!
Thank you! As are you!
And, you are totally right, you can’t get it from a bottle at all!
My little man was blessed with some strawberry blonde hair and it’s constant! No matter where we go!
Then you know it all too well!
Love this! As a brunette mom of two red-heads, I get these questions almost daily! I would like to add my two personal favorites: Are you the nanny? Are you sure you brought the right baby home from the hospital?
Ouch…those are bad, too!
I have 4 beautiful daughters. One of the older ones is a bit more “exotic” looking (not my words, mind you….) than the other. To me, they are equally gorgeous. I actually had a woman at church gush about the “exotic” one. OH, how beautiful, etc. Wow! Look at her. They then turned to my other daughter and said, “You’re cute too, but E, oh she is beautiful!” I was LIVID!! She still remembers it and it was over 13 years ago. People need to THINK before they speak!!
Those are the ones that makes me the most upset. Because I know all of the kids are listening and I know it hurts!
I have red hair and used to hate it. My mother and daddy both had brown hair. My brother and I had red. (My grandmother had auburn hair when she was young). People always asked, where did you get your red hair. As I got older (about 11) I got tired of that so I begin to answer saying the mailman. It shut them up. After I got 17, I decided I liked my red hair.
We really try to emphasize how awesome all of their qualities are…they’ve often said they don’t like their curls, but we talk about everybody being different!
The mailman is one of my favorite answers…especially since ours is a female and not the same skin color.
Glad you’ve started liking your hair!
Although my kids’ hair is not red, i can relate. Their hair is white. Not blonde…white. People comment on them all the time. One time while hiking, when we were stopped and asked for the third time for a stranger to take a photo with our daughter i lost it.
Thanks for reminding me people will feel the need to comment on many things and to just let it roll off my back because if it wasn’t their white hair, it would be some other trait.
Because seeing your kid hiking is like a trip to the zoo? I would have been floored!
Yeah, true, if there is something different about a kid, people will say something!
I love this! I have 2 year twin boys with red hair and I get all those questions plus the are they twins?! When they were still in infant carriers I told people no they are a month apart!! It gave me a good laughs everytime.
Oh, that is awesome! I have a friend with triplets, B-G-G. People ask her if they are identical. Ummmmm, because they have the same parts?
My son has blue eyes while my wife and I both have brown. I started of explaining about recessive genes when asked where he got them from. After a while I just started answering “the mail man.”
Honestly, I think people prefer that answer…..did they not pay attention in high school biology.
As a sister to a carrot top, I can say being the non-majestic one was beyond annoying as a kid. The comments like you share were constant and it was baffling to me when I was little as to why it was such a big deal.
I still don’t get it, either. It’s just hair, right???
I completely understand the frustration. I’m a mother of a blonde hair, blue eyed beauty, and a fiery red hair, blueish/green eyed cutie. He is so much like me, “touch-me-nots”, that out in public I have to ask that they not touch him in fear of a “red headed” fit. That usually works. Lol 🙂
I love using their stereotypes for redheads against them!
I’m the mom of a redhead too and it’s unbelievable the way people make a fuss over red hair. One of the craziest moments for me was when I was in NYC and a bus full of Japanese tourists got out and started pointing and taking pictures of my son. They were super nice and I was laughing but it makes you realize how rare redheads are, especially in other parts of the world.
The other thing that’s pretty cool is when you realize that being a mom of a redhead is like a club. Other parents of redheads automatically become your friends. It didn’t start for me until my son was older but other parents of redheads will just come up to you and start talking because they have a redhead too. It’s pretty awesome.
I’ve heard a very similar story from a friend of a family with little blondies! When we go to a local Japanese restaurant, the female servers come over and fawn all over the girls and touch their hair. The girls are like “why are they touching me? Please stop!”
I look forward to the moms of redhead friends…we have to stick together!
Loved your article because I have gotten asked all of the questions too. I have 2 red headed children (boy and girl — 16 and 11). My husband and I have straight brown hair. He has blue eyes and mine are brown. However, both kids have wavy to curly red hair (depending on how long it gets) and blue eyes. When my son was first born and him and I went out somewhere by ourselves, I would get asked the most ignorant questions from strangers. See he is pale and although I am white I look darker then him and he really doesn’t look like me. They would say “Is he adopted?” I liked to embarrass them and say “Oh yeah he’s mine. 18 hours of labor and no meds–yep he’s mine!” I was thrilled when I had 2 red heads. I have always loved red hair. Love my red heads! and I so agree with “you become part of the red head parent club.” It is great!
Yes….adopted, nanny, babysitter? All of those nonsense questions!
I love it when people follow up with their question asking me “are you sure?”
Seriously???
I have a daughter who has red hair but I don’t remember it being that big of a deal when she was a child. Everyone who did say something commented on how pretty it was but there are a lot of family members on my husbands side who have red hair so I guess we never thought too much about it. I also have a daughter with dark brown hair my son has blond hair. They all three have the same parents. The two girls have green eyes as do both me and my husband and my son has blue eyes.
I don’t think I noticed it as much until I had a daughter that didn’t have red hair and doesn’t get talked to or people say anything to her…and it’s very obvious she’s picked up on it.
I totally get it! My daughter was born with grey eyes. They didn’t turn brown until after two. Out in public people would ask about her eye color and where she got them from. It didn’t bother me so much then but I can only imagine if her eye color didn’t change how much worse it could’ve been. #typaparent
I don’t think I’ve ever seen grey eyes before!
My beautiful red-head is now a 14 year old beautiful young lady. I have been irritated, amused and made really mad at the ridiculously stupid comments I have heard over the years regarding her hair color. To complicate matters, she was adopted and is Asian, we are not. So that really compounded the nosy/inappropriate questions tenfold. Needless to say we survived, she stopped begging me to “paint her hair yellow” (kindergarten) so my shy child would be left alone by nosy strangers and she now likes her hair. And I didn’t throat punch anyone, though I wanted to many, many times.
My girls have asked to have their “hair cut straight” many times before!
I haven’t throat punched either, but I sure have wanted to!
my favorite comment had been in an Ingles grocery store. (I live in a little town in ga) the lady at the Check out counter looked at my son and said “look at his red hair! Then they looked at my daughter who has red highlights and looked at me and said are they actually brother and sister? Then asked me “are they both yours?” I was floored. Nope I just picked up two kids on the side of the road. I never knew red hair would cause such a fuss, but then again I never imagined I would have a red head of my own 🙂
Yes, I get the “are they yours” question a lot, too. It’s just a strange question to ask regardless of the situation!
My husband and I have four boys. The first and second are 20 months apart and the 2nd and 3rd are 24 months apart. Number 1 has straight black hair, no. 2 has straight blond hair and the 3rd has curly red hair. I used to get asked if they all had the same Dad and if any or all were adopted! The one that annoyed me the most though is when people used to assure me that my red heads hair would change to brown! Like I didn’t LOVE his hair! I still cringe when people say that and he’s 10! I hope it never changes, he had amazing hair! (Boy 4 just like boy #2)
Hi. I have some advice first-hand, it will get better!! Lol. I am a redhead, and newly discovered majestic unicorn 🙂 and I have heard it all in the last 33 years. I was always shopping with my grandma when I was a child. We were in our local grocery store one day and I was patiently standing with my grandma while she was playing the lottery. A little old lady approached me and gave me a kitkat just because she liked my hair. I started crying and wouldn’t take the candy because, well, I was taught to never take candy from strangers!! Lol. After my grandma reassured me that it was ok, I accepted. But I am the only redhead in my family, my entire family! My mom has blonde hair and my dad has brown hair so I always heard all the rude questions as well and I hated it. And kids are cruel. Carrot top, red, and fire engine are just a few names I was called as a child. Now I get way more compliments than anything and people tend to see past the hair and notice the similarities between my mom and I when we are together. So, be proud of those majestic unicorn beauties and the curly-haired cutie and remember that all those other people are just jealous that they don’t have a majestic unicorn also! 🙂
Oh, I’m very, very proud of them for sure! And I know it’s because people are jealous. Most of the time they even tell us.
People are just trying to be nice…whether it gets old or not. I am the Mother of grown identical twin boys and can’t count the number of times people said to me, ‘Are they twins?’ It was especially humorous when they were dressed in like outfits in different colors and in their twin stroller. It NEVER bothered me. I was flattered that they noticed my beautiful children…period. To this day, if we have a red headed server at a restaurant or wherever, I often remark on their beautiful hair. It’s true! Redheads always have amazingly thick, healthy hair. I’m quite sure no one ever came up to my Mother and said, ‘Oh, look at her fine, thin hair!’ I can see your point if someone said, ‘Ugh! A redhead! I hate red hair!’ Then I’d get defensive! Quite frankly, I’d be quite proud of my kiddos who are in the 2% of beautiful!
Oh, no, don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond proud of my little unicorns. And flattered that people think they are so beautiful or their hair is so beautiful. Part of this was meant to be funny, and part of it was because my little non-redhead has totally picked up on all of the gushing on her sisters and now says she’s not cute but her sisters are. And, it’s not because of a lack of us telling her.
Most of the time I just laugh at the silly questions!
My oldest son has amazing blue eyes which he inherited from my father. They are beyond striking, and every. single. time. we go anywhere, someone comments on his eyes. (Seriously, every time- to the point that once, when he was little, we had gone to town, and when we came home, he was weepy. I asked him what the matter was, and he said, “Nobody told me I had pretty eyes today!” He is almost 10, and it hasn’t happened since.) Anyway, I have two more little boys with really nice eyes also; they’re just not like their brother’s. We often hear, “Oh wow! His eyes are awesome!” and then, “Oh, your eyes are pretty too,” (directed to the younger boys) as an afterthought.
Oh no….I don’t think we’ve had that before, but I can only imagine. (the crying because nobody said anything).
The afterthoughts are totally the ones that kill me!
Anyone interested in a Unicorn Mom shirt? I’m making one for myself, love my little unicorn 🙂
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/a0/f6/2c/a0f62c5126dcf9e0b922e2d65e5cbc53.jpg
Yes. Same with the curls. Are they yours? Where did he get them? Can I touch them? While also ignoring the brothers that stand by a stare.
Maybe we should start having our kids ask if they can touch back?
Sometimes I feel like people treat them like circus animals.
I have naturally curly hair and both of my daughters do too. Yep you guessed it-is her hair naturally curly? Why no, I get up and curl my (then) 1 year old and 6 year olds hair the exact same as mine every morning! Ha! I’ve just learned to answer politely. Also, my oldest daughter has her dad’s hazel eyes and when she was small a touch of her grandmother’s red hair and I was questioned a lot if I was her mom because I have brown hair and brown eyes.
Because everybody likes operating a curling iron daily…or perming their infant’s hair!
I do answer politely like 99% of the time…but sometimes I just have to be a little spunky!
Your girls are beautiful!!! I have three red heads…all girls and I am a natural red head myself. And I still get asked where their red hair came from. Almost like, they are natural and I dyed my hair to match theirs. The oldest girls are twins so I had double the trouble with the comments since there were two of them. I’ve had people approach us in a convenience store and ask for a picture. I live in a small town and my girls are almost the only red heads in their school…K-8. (there are only 2 or 3 others). When the 4 of us are out together we get the looks and while it used to be uncomfortable, I’ve gotten used to it. It’s been a good lesson on teaching my girls how to receive a compliment. Blessings!!!
I have 3 kids and they are all redheads (a girl & two boys). Yes, I have gotten the double takes, especially when we are out as a family. I’m a blonde and my husband has dark brown hair. We always get the question “Where does their red hair come from?” When my daughter was asked that question at 4 she replied before I could open my mouth, “The dentist!” I don’t know why she said that, but we got a good laugh. The best comment someone said was, “With the odds you have at redheads, you should play the lottery!”
So I don’t have a red head. However I have 2 year old twin boys who are very handsome and have very curly locks. It never fails since the day they were born I can’t take them out in public without each person who passes by asking the same routine questions.
1. Are they twins?
A. No I bought one/ or I found this one in a parking lot somewhere.
2. So it’s a boy and a girl?
A. Well it started that way and I just decided to turn them both into boys. (As they are both clearly dressed in blue or boy colored outfits with things like mommies handsome guy or footballs and basketballs)
3. So are they identical
A. No. ( clearly one has darker skin their eye shapes are different their smiles are different, their whole build is different and one has darker more curly hair than the other)
And the questions just keep flowing. Funny enough I always laugh it off and give a funny answer if they haven’t figured out my annoyance by question #3 they are kinda asking for it haha
As a lifelong redhead and the only majestic unicorn in my family of origin, I am pleased that the taunting I endured as a child has ended. Children of bygone times would skip across the playground singing ‘I’d rather be dead than red on the head!’ Maybe it’s a salve to my own soul, but when I see one of my kind, I smile at him or her and simply say “I like your hair”.
I bought the majestic unicorn shirt from Zazzle for my red haired 13 year old neice. She absolutely loved it. All your children are beautiful, here’s to a happy healthy life for you and yours.
There are some awesome scholarships for red headed children. Please check it out. Counselor s and teachers may not be aware they are available but have the tools to find them. God bless redheads. All of my cousins are.
Wow! I had no idea there were scholarships available! Although, I have to wonder how one would prove their redheadedness?
With four girls to get through school, we’ll take all the help we can get!
I think there are even bigger scholarships for green eyes. Proof is easy. It is sure worth talking to the counselor. If he can’t help, talk to a scholarship counselor. Unfortunately, out of 10 cousins my sister and I are brunette. Of my 4 kids I got no redheads. I love red hair!
I can’t imagine asking someone I don’t know most of these questions, but I’m sure some of them I could (or have been) quilty of asking!
Let me just say that your daughters are beautiful 🙂
Thank you very much!
Hi, I to have red hair & 3 beautiful daughters…. my youngest also a red head! I’ve heard it all at 2 month someone asked if I dyed her hair… ummm yea ok! She’s almost 7 now and we can’t just go to the store or anywhere without someone saying something about her & she has a natural side part so it’s even worse! My other 2 daughters (11&9) are brunettes and they tell people when they ask, “oh we hear that all the time!” Being a red head growing up people assume your mean or have an attitude, she does but so do my other two. Lol have a great day!
Yeah, when I wrote this post, I hadn’t really heard the attitude comments…now, I get them all the time. My response is always “what do you mean?” and they realize how dumb it sounds!
Okay I may GUSH in my head about children with red hair. I love red hair and I was joking when I was pregnant that I would dye my boys hair red. I love it that much… but I didn’t do that. People are just so silly on how they are reacting over the red hair! But I will say you make some beautiful children, red hair and all! Hopefully the questions will end one day though.
Oh, there are no rules for your own kids!!
And, thank you so much, we are pretty partial to them, too!
I hear the questions don’t end. We are just going to have to keep practicing our responses.
I’m a grown woman and STILL get crazy questions like this. “Is that your natural color?” (Oh honey this color does NOT come in a bottle!). “Is it naturally curly?” (No, I totally enjoy spending 4 hours every morning curling this mess on a curling iron. NOT!) Add that to the fact that I have brown eyes which is even more rare (a recessive gene AND a dominant gene) and yes…..I am a majestic unicorn. Love that!
Totally not in a bottle.
And, right, I curl their hair and dye it regularly.
And, yes, of our three redheads, two have brown eyes and one has green!
that is too funny! I have 3 girl and one not and my youngest daughter has bright red (orange really) hair. My grandfather was a red haired Belgian/German and my husband was red haired when he was little as well. Well, I’m from Chile and look Hispanic so not only I get ask those questions but people is so surprised that a Hispanic woman could have a red hair baby that I have been told “she is not your, right?”. I really need to start answering more clever things. I’ve already used the “the mailman” when asked “where does she gets the red from?” But for the irritating questions of “she is not your, right?” I need something better 🙂
My half brother and half sister are half Hispanic (from Mexico). We don’t look anything alike, so people often had some interesting questions for us when we were out, too!
Right, automatically assuming they aren’t yours is terrible!!!
I have four boys; two redheads, a brunette, and a blonde. Aside from being asked if we dyed my older two boys’ hair (my redheads), I have been asked in front of my children, by total strangers, if they all had the same father?! Yes, thank you very much, they do all have the same father, we were married before any of them were conceived, would you like to know the details of their conceptions?! People have no filter and no tact!
Yes….we get that, too! My kids all look alike, so it’s even more absurd. I think society needs a biology class reminder!
Love that you wrote this! We get asked all the time about our baby’s hair… The first thing the doc, nurse, and my husband said when they saw her head was “look at all that red hair!” My response was: “Yep! That explains alot!” Then they asked if I had heartburn a lot during the pregnancy… My response: I have heartburn now… please take her out. 🙂 We have been asked a million times where does she get the color… I have strawberry blonde and my husband has auburn… come on people! She gets called a ginger all the time and I brush it off… but if she ever gets told she has no soul (South Park… Something Cartman says) because she is a ginger someone is getting pummeled.
I’ve only recently gotten compliments on their hair and behavior/souls…I will totally kick some you know what the next time.
When asked if the hair matched the behavior, I just looked at them like they had three heads!
In high school and college, I got the “Is it natural? I would kill for your color!” often. If they had only seen my hair when it was redder, but it darkened as I got older. Now, S is my redhead while Baby D’s hair is more like his daddy’s. I haven’t considered this but I hope to not have to deal with it. I may not be as nice as you (holding back the throat punch) after a while!
Hopefully, it doesn’t happen for you!
I have a beautiful red head and heard these comments all the time. We just started telling people she got her red hair from the milk man. That usually ended the conversation and the expressions are priceless.
Oh the milkman is a good answer, too! I sometimes bring the snark, but mostly end up just acting surprised that they asked!
we actually had a group of foreign men at a Team USA soccer game run up and start taking pictures with our son. He was about 10 years old at the time, (he keeps his hair long like Shaun White) he was several rows from us with friends, It was a bit startling.
“Where does she get her red hair?”
My favorite answer is the UPS man.
Our oldest has brown hair and our 2 younger have red hair.
We’ve had quite a few foreign people come up to the girls and start touching and playing with their hair! It is definitely shocking to them!
That UPS man must get around for sure!
Genes sure are funny!
Your girls are gorgeous! When I was younger I wanted red hair so bad! 🙂
I dyed mine red at 13!
Never say “Is your hair natural?” Every redhead has heard this before!
Sometimes people just want to say something, to let you know they are acknowledging something sometimes even with a sense of wonder, even if it comes out sorta cliche’ or silly. Wait until they’re teens and the judgmental stuff starts coming out, that will truly set you off.
Your daughters are so cute! I love their red hair. How adorable are they. People ask the dumbest questions all the time! I remember just because my son had his hair a little long they wondered if he was a girl and I said no, and they asked well why don’t you cut his hair. He looks like a girl. Gee!
Wow! I can’t believe they would ask you that!
Well, I mean, I can believe it, but…WOW!
This made me laugh out loud. I love gingers of all ages, but usually reserve the flinging of glitter and shouty excitement for inside my mind 😉 Gorgeous kidlets – readheaded or not.
Inside your mind shouting and glitter..I love that!
My sister is a redhead and her daughter is too. I heard about all the things listed and can just hear my sister’s voice saying it. My mother was a redhead in her younger days too. Funny this repeats its self over and over – my sister is 58 year old now.
Oh goodness…guess we’d better get ready for the long haul!
OH my goodness I love their hair color. I am a ginger also and sadly never had any kids with red hair not sure how that happened.
Genes are a funny thing, aren’t they?
Yeah, I don’t think I have ever asked that to a mother. I actually think red heads are beautiful! I mean they gave that gorgeous porcelain skin and a hair color that people usually pay for. Haha @ majestic unicorns 😉
Would you believe I only know personally 2 redheads? I’ve always wanted to be a redhead. This was a great read!
I didn’t know that only 2% of the population had red hair until I read this some time ago. I don’t have children. But I am always SHOCKED by the questions that people think are appropriate. “Is she yours?” I have a friend who gets asked that from time to time. And if the answer is, “No”, what then? Are they going to try to take the child away?
That reminds me of a story my mom told me about me when I was that small. Every time she went somewhere, people would say, “What a cute little boy”. The reason they said that was because I was completely bald! I was born with black hair, but it all fell out. My mom hated that every one thought I was a boy, so she taped a pink bow on my head. Very funny, Mom!
I think her hair is very pretty. I didn’t know that so few of the world were red heads.
I love your shirt design, too. Super-cute!
My mom taped a bow on my head, too! And people have always thought all of my girls were boys! Like 9/10 times they say boy!
I think people don’t realize how tiresome it is for parents (and their kids) to hear the same comments and silly questions over and over. My sister had a very large birthmark on her lower leg and she got comments from strangers about it all her life.
That’s exactly it! One time, no problem. Every time? It’s trying! It even gets to my older girls!
Beautiful girls. I’m a red head and I feel like 25 years ago when I was a kid, people didn’t appreciate it as much. I struggle to appreciate my hair as well. Now I love it, but back then I didn’t.
None of my kids have red hair and the other day someone said, “Aren’t you glad your kids didn’t get your hair?”
Ummm, I have no control over it so I don’t really care, but I would have loved to have had a redhead. 🙂
This made me laugh. I had a mental picture in my head of people actually doing this to your girls.
Very well stated. And all 4 of your girls have gorgeous hair 🙂
My two oldest girls both have brown hair and are one year apart; however, one has silky smooth straight long hair and the other has springy shorter curls. And it’s either “look at that long hair” or “look at those curls” and the other gets an after thought as well, depending on what the person “loves.” It took a while to get them to like their own hair!
I bet you do get a lot of comments. They are beauiful!!
I grew up with bright red hair which has darkened with. What I would say (and do say) when I see people with redheads is PLEASE make sure they always wear sunscreen and NEVER use a tanning bed. Redheads have a 100 fold increase in getting malignant melanoma, one of the deadliest forms of cancer.
You are so right…sunscreen is so important!
I have never heard that there is an increased chance of melanoma for redheads before.
Yes. Sorry to leave such a random reply. This is sort of my soapbox. I work with melanoma patients at a Cancer hospital and we have too many beautiful folks in this battle. Your kids are gorgeous … Never let them into a tanning bed (like when they are going to prom and might beg you.) Even one time raises the risk by 75%.
I appreciate it!
And, guilty as charged of the tanning bed before prom..and my wedding. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
But, I will do better for sure…I hardly tanned and I know they won’t either, ever. Right now, they are super good at getting their sunscreen on, so I hope and pray it stays that way!
Good job, mom!! 🙂
Just for the record, I think most people know that red heads are in the family, somewhere down the line. I think the reason some people (or at least I do) ask where they get it from is more curiosity of whose side they got it from. Do you have a brother/sister or is it from a 4th great grand parent?
Yes, I know…..they are all from curiosity! There are just a lot of curious people (imagine answering these questions several times a day)!
But, for the record, for us, we both have aunts that have red hair, but we’ve never traced it back to one of our own decedents on both sides. Sometimes, I’ll find a red hair from my head has fallen out…and my husband has a ton of red hair in his sideburns and beard!
My 3 yearold is a red head and the comments and questions are crazy. When people ask where she got her red hair she often will answer “recessive genes”.
My older girls just say from their parents. When my youngest starts talking, I think we’ll get her to say that!
My dad gave me my red hair and when people would ask him where I got it from he would say “designer genes”. He was always very proud of his joke.
I liked because it always stumped people.
I remember feeling like this when people would comment on my sisters beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes.
Now I have the only red head in a huge family ( my hubby is one of six boys) and to make matters worse she’s the only girl out of ten grandchildren so far. So in our little town everyone it seems has gushed over her ignoring my boys in the process.
So very frusterating!
Then you totally feel where I’m coming from. It’s like celebrity status…and most people don’t want that!
I can relate somewhat with my daughter’s startling blue eyes. We have always gotten so many comments on them from complete strangers. I worry that it will hurt my younger daughter’s feelings who doesn’t get the attention, but has the most lovely hazel eyes (she says their color is “dazzle”). I’d prefer strangers just didn’t talk to us in the first place.
Sounds like your daughter totally gets the awesomeness that is her “dazzle” eyes!
And, yeah, I’d prefer strangers not talk to us in the first place, too!
I never got this adoration! My sister and I are both Redheads – she got the Blue eyes, Ginger and freckles, I got the brown eyes and Auburn hair, with a smattering of freckles. Im so glad my hair turned darker as I got older so only a hint of red now. Ive tried dyeing it but that Red will come on through – its so annoying. Even when I dyed it Black it ended up looking Browny Red; I was told Black had to grow out – err …. not with Red it doesnt! It doesnt go with anything clothes wise and all we ever got was people telling us it was ugly, name calling from other children or adults feeling sorry for us – I must have been born a few decades too early it seems!
I think it’s more about the age. I suspect they will get nasty and mean comments as they age because kids are mean. I got so much crap about my freckles…I was actually called “freckle face” and other mean things.
I will make sure to let them know that coloring their hair black isn’t an option.
I’m so sorry people were mean about it!
Yes to it all! And I am going to make my daughter a unicorn shirt! Thanks for sharing!
I totally need to put my Silhouette to use and make shirts for my girls, too!
I so love this. I am the 5th of 7 kids. ALL 6 of my siblings have RED RED hair. My hair was very blond as a child. My younger brothers are twins. Can you imagine? Twin red headed brothers??? I was always the afterthought compliment. I still remember a snooty lady going on and on about my brothers’ hair in the grocery store and then she turned to me and did the “oh your hair is nice too”. I was furious. But I keep hoping I have a red headed baby.
I can only imagine!
And, the fact that you still remember is exactly why I wrote this! I wish it made more sense to everybody!
This is totally me!!! Thank u! 3 redheads and 2 brown and I get so tired of people acting like I have 3 majestic unicorns and 2 trolls!
Right? I know people don’t mean to be hurtful, but it really does feel this way! And, the kids totally notice and hear it, too!
Both of my parents had very dark hair. Three out of four of their children had red hair. My mother used to get very tired of people asking where the red hair came from. She used to reply that she had washed our hair but didn’t dry it, so it rusted. Our red hair came from my grandfather on my dad’s side whose nickname was Red. Four out of six of his grandkids have red hair. My sister had 2 kids – one was a redhead. Both of his children are redheaded and their mother has very dark hair.
Genetics are a funny thing, aren’t they?
Sounds like Red was the perfect nickname!
All your babies are absolutely gorgeous! I get asked all the time if all 3 of mine have the same dad because i have a 7 y/o red haired boy, a 5 y/o brown haired boy and then a 3 y/o red haired girl. Everyone always thinks i cheated on my husband to get my brown haired son and are not ashamed to say so. It is ridiculous to me but i guess some people didn’t pay attention in science class. Lol
I really feel like I’ve been accused of cheating on more than on occasion! And, my kids all look like each other…and their dad!
Thinking before speaking is a lost art, apparently!
I’m a natural redhead too and have had a lot of comments in my lifetime. The most insulting I got was “What bottle did you get that out of?” SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!? I just stood there, wondering if I should bitch her out…but when I could talk, I told her, “This is my real hair color, THANK YOU!” She was taken back a bit by my biting sneer at the end. “Oh no no! I didn’t mean that as an insult! I WANT that color hair! I was just wondering if… I mean, it looks so good I just thought…” And then she walked away.
Oh, the older ladies ask all the time. I’m like “you can’t get this color from a bottle!”
Yeah, I bet she walked away, tail between her legs! People just don’t realize it’s not the first time you’ve heard it!
I feel for you mama!! I have 2 boys (5 & 6 years old) with red hair. It’s like walking around with celebrities. Every time we leave the house– for 6 years now– come the squeals of “oh look at that RED HAIR!” Then, often because I’m out and about without my husband, they dig deeper. “Your husband must have red hair!” Nope. We’re both brunettes and so is my 6 month old daughter. “Well then where do they get it from?”
One lady caught me in a snarky mood and phrased her question just right: well who in your family has red hair? I told her the truth. My brother has red hair. The look on her face was priceless. Hahaha
Seriously! This is exactly it. Every where we go…somebody has to say or ask something. It never fails! Even preschool..every day!!!
And, oh my gosh, I seriously spit out my drink reading your response! That is hilarious!!!
Actually, there is a whole genetic science that surrounds redheads and how they occur. The gene is generally carried in the Mother, and it typically skips a generation. We did studies on this in college. We were speaking about genetics, and if someone were to have walked into the room, they would’ve thought Madden had been there with his circles and arrows on the chalkboard. A redhead is more of a “you go long and I’ll fake it to you” gene……
I like that analogy!
I completely get it! We have 2 redheads & 2 brown heads…. It’s a constant “oh look at those 2 little redheads!” …. I wanna say “and would you oohh & aahh over these 2 other cuties while you’re at it!”
Right?????!!!????? I want to be like “look at these 4 cute kids!” Period. Just cute kids!
Mom of 3 redheaded boys here – various shades from bright copper, through strawberry blonde to mostly blonde with a enough red that people still notice. I love it, always have, married one (who has since gone brown as he’s aged, such a shame), and I actually love the comments too. Hoping for some redheaded grandchildren in the future too!
You just need to find them all a redheaded wife and then you should be in luck!
In the beginning I would get lots of mailman jokes. I would respond with “No, she has black hair”. And they would just at me like I was nuts. Oh like the mailman joke wasn’t nuts..Lol. Now I get a lot “I wish I could bottle that up” comments. I should tell them that they already do..it’s called Clairol, and is on aisle 6.
Yes, the mailman, the milkman, the delivery man….all of those. We had a female mail person….that always confused people!
I always tell people they can’t get it from a bottle:)
i can relate, I have three red heads. Two boys 20 and 19 and a girl 15. I love my red heads, three red heads draw lots of attention. The question I dislike the most is, where did they get their red hair..err, I was tempted to say the milkman a few times but I didn’t, i educate them on the recessive gene.
Yeah, the temptation is always there, but I almost never actually give into it.
Omg I am in the same boat! I have 4 boys and 2 of them have red hair. Well, one has really red hair and the other has strawberry blond. But I am CONSTANTLY being asked the same questions! The most popular one being “is he yours?” One of these days I’m going to tell someone “nope, found him standing outside and he looked lonely so I picked him up”. I love when people tell me how rare it is, or when I tell them yes he’s mine, they say “oh buy you don’t have red hair, where does it come from?” And then suddenly they can see some red hues in my hair. My oldest, non red head, actually gets jealous when people stop us and comment on how beautiful his brothers hair is. He tell me he wants pretty hair like them. Lol.
Oh and they also say how people pay such good money to have hair like that, but it still never turns out nearly as pretty. Haha!
Yep, you can’t get it from a bottle!
I have 2 redheads and get all of those comments. Glad to see I am not alone. My son is older and I was told his hair color was a waste because I am going to cut it short. Well, my daughter “unicorn” has the exact same color and hair to her bottom. :p
Waste of hair and color? Good grief!
It appears, to me at least, that all 3 in the pic have reddish hair, though not as intense as the baby. Regardless, they are all beautiful.
Oh, yes, the oldest two also have red hair. It’s just not as noticeable now that it’s longer. They still get comments, too!
Thank you!
Ugh! My daughter has curls and is biracial – I get annoyed enough with wants about her hair.
This reminds me of my friend’s sister who is Mexican American (and brunette with medium toned skin) and married to a guy who is Korean American. They have a son with brown hair and a daughter with….RED hair!
Yeah, imagine the comments their own family gave them. There is a ressessive gene in my friend’s Mexican American family that pops up every few generations!
My niece is biracial with curly hair, too! I want to be like “people..it’s hair!!! Just hair!!!”
I’m sure their own family had quite a bit to say!
We don’t have red heads but my parents and I are brunette and my sister’s blond. So many times we got, “what colour of hair does the milk man have?” My sister at least has a lot of my dad’s looks and eye colour. I married a brunette and our eldest is brunette. We adopted our youngest daughter and her hair is between blond and light brown so here we go again. I was out with both girls when the youngest was still a baby and a complete stranger wanted to know if they had different dads. So rude! Biologically, different mums too, but that’s none of her business.
Soooooo rude! I can’t believe people think it’s okay to ask that question!
I feel your pain! After having two dark haired boys, we were blessed with a beautiful red haired daughter. When she was one, we took a family trip to Yellowstone. We stopped at one of the scenic outlooks at the same time as two bus loads of Asian tourists. The women all started pointing at my daughter and talking rapidly. Several came up and touched her hair. One even had the nerve to take her from my arms, and take pictures with her!! Did they consider her lucky, or a freak??? Regardless, we went in another direction, with my daughter’s hood tied tightly around her face!!!
Took her from your arms? I would have LOST it! A friend told me they consider them lucky, but still, where is it okay to take another person’s child?!?
I was the ONLY redhead in my immediate family. I married into a large family of blondes but I’m the only redheaded in law. 🙂 All three of my boys have red hair (different shades). My husband’s family definitely carries the recessive gene. Out of 24 first cousins, 32% of my boys’ cousins are red heads. My middle son was 3 the first time he slapped a hand that was touching his head saying “Don’t touch”. My favorite answer to the “red head question” was when asked “Where did your red hair come from?” from a school lunch lady, my oldest (a 4th grader) told her that he had the cooties.
Yes!!! I am the only red head as well. I married and he has brown hair. We have a daughter and she is so lucky as to got my red hair!!! I can’t say how many people comment on our hair!!! I just knew she would have dark brown hair like her daddy, but God blessed us with a beautiful red head daughter.
My mom received comments like this. My father has dark brown hair; my mother mid brown hair. I’ strawberry blonde, my brother’s hair is brown and my sister’s hair is a deep red, almost auburn. Once at the grocery store she was asked if we were adopted. My mom just smiled and said “they’re all mine.” My sisteris hair matches our great grandmother’s color to a tee (we had a thick braid of her hair before the house fire) and on the other side an uncle has red hair. You just never know when the red might show up 🙂
Yes! We have two red heads, two brunettes, and two sandy blondes. Sometimes I think good wanted my introverted husband to start talking to random strangers, but the comments never stop.
I had red hair when I was younger and my sister had dark features. Someone actually asked my Momma if we were whole sisters. Now I can see someone say, “look at that red hair,” because people say to my son all the time, “look at all that hair.” I think their intentions are good, they are just admiring and may not know what exactly to say because some people are touchy about what other people say about their children. However, asking questions about whether the child is their’s, is just rude.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for defending your non-unicorn!!! I am a brunette, my two gorgeous sisters are blondes and everywhere we went strangers always stopped us and told my sisters how beautiful they were… and sometimes added me in as an after thought. Can’t tell you how much it hurt and hindered my confidence growing up. So THANK YOU for nipping that in the bud1
It took a few years before it happened, but someone did as my daughter (who is red-headed) if she was adopted because the rest of her siblings (and I) are blonde!
Her dad is half-filipino with dark hair and eyes. Here she is red hair and green eyes (I have green eyes) with no freckles. XD
I DO love her red hair!
My youngest has amazing pale blue eyes. I keep track of how many times they get brought up each time we go out, because they always do!
I am a brunette and my sister has the brightest fire engine red hair you have ever seen. Growing up I ALWAYS got the second – hand compliment… “oh and you have pretty hair too!” So I can totally relate! E will come to find out that being a brunette is pretty doggone cool too!
My 3 yo son is a red head, had the bright orange copper hair when he was born, now it is more red copper. ☺ His father and I both have dark auburn hair now. The “where does his red hair come from?” question drives me insane!!! Even though my hair is not the exact shade of my son’s, it is still obviously a shade of red…. But I get that question constantly. You are right… Majestic Unicorn. Oh and we both have blue eyes too…. Double whammy!!
wow, this is awesome! I have 6 redheads. 5 boys and a girl. And the girl and youngest boy are twins. I hear in ALL THE TIME. And for a while had 4 boys so can relate to your other post about 4 girls, lol! I love the similarities! I sometimes feel like my boy twin is an afterthought to people in the same way because he’s the 5th boy and his twin is the first girl makes me sad for him :(. And all of your girls are beautiful ❤️
No red hair but when I was a kid I was one of the first in Waco to wear one of those horrible headgears with my braces. It was unbelievable how many people approached my mom asking what it was or what was the matter with me. With a very serious face she would tell them my head was cut off and that was holding it on. Some of the reactions were priceless!
Mom for the win! People like her give me hope for the world! 🙂
My 3 year old has beautiful red hair and I get all those questions at least once a day. I also have 11 month old twins (brunettes) so I basically can’t get through any store. Don’t get me wrong, the three of them are beautiful, but strangers actually stop me and ask if they can take a picture of them!
first off, your girls are just beautiful and are all little dolls!!! My husband is a strawberry blonde, but his brothers both have VERY red hair, and our little guy definitely has some red hue to the whisps of hair that he has! Sometimes it looks blonde, sometimes strawberry, other times straight up orange! I guess that I have lots of comments to look forward to, we already get compliments on how adorable he is, but I’m definitely ok with that and wholeheartedly agree! And I love the picture of little bit eating the apple! So cute!!!
My son has “red” hair and both my husband and i have dark brown/almist black hair. Sometimes his hair looks blonde, sometimes red, sometimes orange. And i get asked over and over again, even by the sane people, how he got that hair. Its so annoying, almost like people dont believe us when we say WE DONT KNOW EITHER. Lol im tired of explaining why his hair coir changes because NO i would NEVER dye my kids hair
I love this! My daughter is a red head, true orange really lol. I’ve been asked if we dye it and if she’s adopted, especially since our son is brunette and tan. Trips to the store took hours when she was little due to the numerous people that would stop me to comment and gawk at her beauty. She eventually started saying “thanks and I you love my hair too right?” At one point she had complex about people touching her hair because who wouldn’t when random strangers (and not always clean looking) would just touch you without asking. Even babies would pull her hair because it was different. We jokingly call her a ginger and my son is convinced she can steal souls, but she is the truly the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and no other hair color would be right for her.
I have red hair, so comments about my red headed son never really bother me, it’s just a normal part of my life….I mostly feel bad for my brunette daughter when people are hemming and hawing over my “majestic unicorn.” But when my son was just a newborn, an elderly came up to us and said, “Your daughter has beautiful red hair!” And I said, “Thank you, but this is my son.” And she responded, “Oh, this red hair is too pretty for this baby to be a boy!!” Uh…what?? Yeh, that was weird.
My mom used to tell people had gotten it from the milkman. In my 4 year old brain, I thought it meant that when the milkman brought us milk and I drank it, my hair turned red! So when the grocery store clerk asked me where I got my red hair, I just repeated what she said. My mom about died!
Being a redhead definately has its ups and downs. Sure I got loads of complements when I was young. But as I got older I got teased a lot. Being called “fire crotch” or “red headed stepchild” or negative comments about me going in the sun etc… I felt people’s complements turned to hatred and discrimination. People don’t take me seriously and I have to fight tooth and nail to get the simplest things in life. I I have had people I’ve never seen before come up and yell at me or treat me with complete disrespect. I thought it was because I look younger than I am but I’m in my thirties now and it’s still happening. I dyed my hair several times all different colors until one day I looked in the mirror with my shaved head and said I’ve had enough! My hair is now brilliantly red as ever and down to my waist. I love my hair and love that I am unique and different. It took me quite some time to build my self esteem back up and I still am working on my severe social phobia. This all may sound crazy but it’s what I’ve gone through. So what I’m saying is it’s a blessing and a curse.
I’m so sorry you’ve had that experience, Hollie. :'( My 3 year old is a curly redhead, and already has a complex about people touching her hair. I try to stop them, but who listens?? >:( Your sad experience definitely reinforces to me that I need to be more overt in keeping people out of her face.
Hollie. Oh my gosh! That is crazy! I don’t understand why people are so mean! I definitely need to keep close tabs on my girls and what people are saying. And yet, I’ve had many comments here (that I’ve deleted) that are also quite negative about me and my kids. Jerks!
Just tell everyone that you put red food coloring in their milk and feed them lots of strawberries. 🙂
My daughter has flaming red curls – and her dad and I have black curls. I hear a LOT of comments of all sorts, and while I don’t mind the kinds words, of course, I do mind the snarky “funny” ones, the judgy ones, the outright rude ones, the people who insist on touching, the ones who insist on preventing me from going about my business… I do think most people mean well, but at some point…???
Yes, I totally know what you mean. I do know that most people mean well, but what they don’t realize is that we’ve been asked 20 times previous to them and we just want to get our errands done!
None of my kids are redheads (though I carry the gene) but I could have written a similar post about having twins. Including “Boy you have your hands full!”, and “Are they identical?” (one has blond hair and blue eyes, the other has brown hair and brown eyes, besides having very different facial features) People ask if they were “natural” which I assume is asking me if I had IVF, which I didn’t, but it is still none of anyones damn business. They ask if I have twins in my family, and if I had a c-section. (nope and nope) It was worse when they were babies. My least favorite was always “OH TWINS! I”VE ALWAYS WANTED TWINS!” Those people needed a throat punch. Having two newborns is hell, and anyone who has “always wanted twins” has clearly not thought things through. BTW, my niece and nephew are both gorgeous redheads, and my sister gets all the comments you mentioned when she takes them out in public. You are not alone!
I have twins, too, and they are both redheads, so I have to field all the questions in both books. My answer to “are they twins?” was “No, they are aliens!”, in my head of course. But it would take FOREVER to get my grocery shopping done when they were with me because every grandma in the store wanted yo stop and look at them. Mine are fraternal, so I took to calling them co-arrivals. What doubled the fun was when I took my nephew with us somewhere who is only a few weeks younger than my oldest daughter, way too many people assumed they were another set of twins with me.
Yes. I’ve been with friends with multiples and it’s exactly the same. Or biracial children. Or basically anything that is “out of the ordinary!”
Nope…they aren’t natural at all…seriously!
Try having twins with bright red hair.. Im not even going to begin on the comment i get. EVERY time i go out..
My clever response when people ask us where my son’s red hair came from is to say from his father, especially when my husband is standing next to me (he has black hair, mine is dark blond). 😉
Oh, that’s a good one!
I have 3 obvious redheads and my 4th gets glowing red streaks under sunlight like I do. My 3 are all different shades from sand to bold fiery red. My strawberry in the middle is starburst, she has a white blond streak coming from one point on her crown and she has developed streaks that are a couple shades lighter than her fiery sister’s.
When we were stationed in Hawai’i, we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center. My twin red gingers, who were about 9 at the time, were trying their skill at a Tahtian dance. There was a group of Japanese tourists watching, almost every woman in the group was enghrlled with my girls and took at lrastva dozen pictures of them. My oldest was a bit pouty, she didn’t get what the big hairy deal was. My son, 7, my sandy redhead, had his hair down pretty short, so his didn’t stand out so much, was ready to move on with the tour long before the group was done taking pictures.
My oldest is 11 years old and we still have to deal with people commenting on her red hair. When she as a toddler, I had to watch her because when people would say “Oh you have red hair” she would say back to them “duh”. Now she’ll tell them that no her hair is orange. That gets some pretty funny responses. She definelty has the personality of a red head and she keeps me on my toes. My youngest is blonde and loves watching her sister get all the attention.
I have 4 children 9(g), 7(g), 4(g), & 2(b). My 7 & 2 year old always get comments on their hair. Immediately followed with “Oh, you got a boy”. Talk about a you better run before I throat punch you comment!! My husband and I wanted 4 healthy children, that’s all we wanted and prayed for was healthy. Don’t you dare diminish my children’s self-worth with your ignorant comments. Back to the hair though, I expect my kids to be polite so I always encourage “What do you say?” And my 7 year old grumbles out a Thank you. It is beautiful, so are my non-reds but we REALLY just want to finish our shopping.
As much as I want them to be snarky…and me to be snarky…I’m not. I’m courteous and gracious for the comments and compliments and teach my girls to be the same.
But, really, what people don’t realize is that it happens ALL THE TIME! I kept track at church this weekend. 5 times. In an hour. And most of that hour was sitting in the service!
Just today at Target with all the girls, the cashier saw my youngest in my carrier and said “oh, is that your boy?” Nope. No she isn’t. And we are all okay with it (why can’t other people be okay?!)
I’m so glad I found this. Not sure how I landed here, but a happy landing nonetheless. My daughter has inherited my natural locks, only I thought mine were hard to manage, and I consider myself talented to have managed to straighten my hair to the point of people thinking that I’m lying about my daughter getting her crazy locks from mommy. The problem is she’s 4 (as of this past March 30th)! My hair wasn’t crazy until puberty. And the best is she screams like a running actress about to predictably fall in a scary movie when I so much as try to go near her hair. But the comments? What in the everless? Everyday.Everywhere we go. I’m gonna start a challenge to see if a day can go by without anything to do with my gorgeous curly Q’s hair coming out of the mouth of someone. I mean really- Are we that disconnected from the day of the perms? Have people never actually saw a real live natural curly head of hair? What gives in this day and age of losing the ability to shut it!. It really does get old.
I think you won’t get one day..unless everybody reads this post!
And, about the brush, have you heard of the wet brush? It’s life changing. I bought three of them because I want us to always be able to find one!
Shutting it isn’t an option for most people, it would seem!
I had to laugh reading your post. I had a brunette daughter first, a blonde son second and when I was pregnant with the third everyone asked if I was having a red head next and I stated proudly that she would be. She was, now a mom of her own I said her second son would be a red head and he is and so I have been through your rounds twice now with the “Oh my red hair!”. Your daughters are all beautiful.
What a lucky mom and grandma you are! It’s even more fun to see generations pass it along!
I have a brunette, a blond and a red head too! All girls so I call them my matched set.
I am a red-head and also color-blind. My hair, to me, is dark with no apparent color. When I was, or am asked about the color, I look puzzled and ask what they are talking about.
I get a nice pleasant silence after that. Someday, it might turn grey, but at 64+ it hasn’t started to yet…
That’s something I never would have thought about!
I’ve also heard that red hair doesn’t grey, it just turns white.
My Mom was a fiery colored red head as a child. Now her hair is a strawberry blond…doesn’t look white at all. I have more grey than she does! (I am a brunette). My best friend has auburn hair and has a lot of grey. So maybe the tone of red makes a difference?
Kath
Of my 5 children, only my oldest has red hair. Apparently it’s good luck in Mexico to touch red hair because when we visited, the children came running over to touch his hair. He is now a grown up who married a blonde. They have 3 red-heads and are constantly asked where the kids get their red hair from? There is another on the way and I can only imagine the comments if he doesn’t have red hair!
I have three redheads, two girls with wavy hair and one boy with tight curls. We often feel like a spectacle and that we must give our complete genealogy to prove their ours as my husband and I are both brunette.
My older two hate the attention. So do I…. The lack of boundaries people have, how they seem to think they can run their hands through my kids hair, the fact that they are seen first for their hair, and that they are judged as firey and tempermental before they can speak a word. My son receives the worst of it…. He likes his hair long and those red curls are like a magnet to everyone. My youngest handles it the best. When she was four, someone went on and on about her hair, ignored the other two kids completely, and ended with, “you have the most amazing hair. It sure is beautiful.” She replied, “well, yours sure isn’t.”
Part of me was mortified- it was an old lady with blue hair trying to be kind. The other part thought, well, ignore two kids, go over the moon on one, and you get what you get.
At any rate, my kids have learned early what it’s like to be seen for only their outer appearances. I hope it’s made them more empathetic for others.
I am a redhead with two blonde kids- and I have to admit staring at the people with recessive genes and redheaded kids. I kind of expected to get at least one! Your girls are lovely.
Marie
My one and only child is a brunette. His hair is really dark and has been since birth. It’s about two shades darker than my hair and three shades darker than my husband’s. We have been asked why his hair is so dark several times (he looks too much like his father otherwise to get asked about adoption). It’s nothing like when we have his best friend with us, though.
His best friend is a red head. And that child spends more time with us than with his own family all summer long. It’s always funny when people ask us where he got his red hair. My husband has taken to telling people that it is from his other dad. Haha. The looks are priceless. One of us does always say that he isn’t actually our child, though.
Don’t forget: Is the (kid’s) Father a redhead?
(Dramatic pause…. then a gasp when I say “nope!”)
“How did this HAPPEN!?”
I have red hair, and when my daughter (who is a little blondie) was smaller, people would stop us to say things like, “It is a SHAME she didn’t get your red hair!”. It made me so mad I finally started telling them that she was perfect with quite lovely hair, thank you very much. We live in a small town so most people have heard my speech and don’t say anything to her or me about her hair anymore. 😉 I bet these comments get old for you, though. I remember my mother getting a lot of the same ones.
I get the same stuff when it concerns my older daughter and my 5 year old twins. Like she isn’t as awesome as they are cause they were born at the same time. I beg to differ 🙂 all 4 of my children are equally awesome, just in different ways
My ex-husband has red hair and his mom used to get alot of comments on it when he was younger including “Where did he get that hair?” She would say ” I left him in the rain and it got rusted!” LOL!
We often get remarks, all positive as my boys 7yo & 5yo both have “red” hair. Mr 7yo even has asked me a few times when we have met new people ” oh mum they didn’t say my hair is beautiful?” LOL
I didn’t even notice that one of your girls had brown hair. All I saw was 4 cute little girls with warm brown eyes.
Your 4 children are all beautiful! It’s sad that people are so judgmental. You are definitely not alone. My nephew was born with a rare syndrome that ultimately took his life at 3 years of age. The comments that she would.get when she went anywhere, and a lot of times just the “looks”. “What’s wrong with him” was a popular one for her. NOTHING Is wrong with him God made him just the way he intended. So keep sticking up for your babies and protect them as much as you can. Life is short.
i can relate to all of these – I have two gorgeous red headed sons! They sure do attract a lot of attention – especially as both my husband and I are dark haired.
When they were both newborns I used to especially hate “Oh he’s gorgeous!” followed by a whispered “Don’t worry, it might go darker”. And just today I got the old chestnut (pun unintended) “A girl would kill for that colour – what a waste!”
Hmmmm.
I love your post – I wrote about my gingers here: I heart Gingers
http://ihearttuesdays.com/2014/03/i-heart-gingers/
I am a red head and I remember my mom taught me when I was old enough to reply with “Ms Clairol” when people would ask me where I got my red hair from. She got a lot of dirty looks but she laughed so hard about it. Can you imagine a 4 year old telling the cashier that?! Lol I am now expecting my first child and I am hoping and praying I get a gorgeous redhead baby! Growing up I didn’t like my hair now that I am older and realize I was blessed I love it! I hope your daughters love it just as much! I don’t remember ever having my hair touched though… That’s just a little weird to me, like its the same as anyone else’s hair really.
I am a ginger. My 2 sisters are also. My brother was blonde and had 2 red haired girls. My sisters and I didn’t have any. Our mother was the only red head out of her 8 other siblings. I’d say we won the lottery. I have probably heard all the comments about my hair many times. Now at my age all I hear is how beautiful it is. You are right about not going grey. I always heard ” red heads don’t go grey, they just fade away. “
If an inquirer isn’t immediately familiar with the result of a double recessive, I’ve found myself to be wasting my breath 100% of the time trying to explain my son’s awesome hair. His mom is a redhead, as well as his uncle (same side), but without a family album or signed affidavits from my side of the family, I’ll always forgoe trying to explain that I was the first non redhead on my fathers side. “It’s from his mom, see?” Works just fine for us, despite being a cop-out half truth we’re well aware of lol
We live in Vietnam with our 5 year old red head girl we get all this and more, ‘is she real’ ‘she looks like barbie’ and last week ‘she looks like Hello Kitty’. She is always having people want to touch her and have their photo taken with her. She has learnt to say in Vietnamese ‘no I do not like my photo taken’ and ‘I am not a baby I am 5’ This stops people but also adds to the curiousty of her. She also tells people she has ‘lucky hair’ At times I feel like we are living with a cross between Mick Jagger and the cutest puppy in the world, it is important for us as her parent to be consious of whats going on and how she is feeling because the attention can really overwhelm her at times. We travelled to South Korea recently where the school girls went silly over her, some screaming on seeing her like she was a pop star. Her big brother who is 7 with black hair always says ‘I am glad I have lucky eyes and not lucky hair I can pull my hat down and people can’t see them’ she is given gifts, sweets, we have food sent to our table in resturants and she is always given seats on public transport, thankfully her brother finds it all amusing. Our landlord turns up at our house and will just start brushing her hair.
I am a redhead and my mother was a redhead. I remember one day when I was young and we were at the store and a woman asked my mother if she dyed my hair to match hers. Really?
That’s ok…when I and my four children would walk in some public place people would ask me if my red-headed daughter was adopted, being quick to point out the fact that with the other three being blondes, she couldn’t possibly be mine even though I myself has auburn hair.
My oldest son (he is 18) is a red head! For 18 years from the moment he started coming out the nurses spotted his red hair and decided to have a stare fest before he was even out (how totally awkward).
My reply to *Where does he get the red hair from?* usually goes like this *I am not really sure. I’m not even 100% positive he is mine.*
I have a friend who’s oldest daughter has red hair. My friend was in a store with her oldest who was about five, and her younger daughter who was two and who has a great head of brown hair. Some man looked back and forth between the two girls and said, “Yeeeah, I’m going to have to go with the red head for prettiest.” WTH dude!
My eldest son (now 16) has red hair. He was born basically bald and I assumed he was blonde as were all the children in my family. His dad has dark brown hair. On the third day a midwife was holding him near the window and said “I think he has red hair”!
I replied with “no he doesn’t” then burst into tears. How awful I feel now about my reaction. Maybe it was post partum blues? I know I did worry about schoolyard bullying as I recalled the few red haired boys from my youth – red haired girls never seemed to attract the same negative attention.
Well I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to worry about. From day one people (strangely) flocked to us in public and commented on his hair, big blue eyes and cherry red lips. Old ladies always wanted to touch his hair, squeeze his cheeks or even kiss him (um, no…)
When asked where it came from we genuinely didn’t know, so we used to joke that the postman had red hair – sometimes people failed to see the humor in our little gag. He had a few silly (nasty) comments during inter-school sporting events but has always had the confidence to laugh it off.
His hair has made him different in a good way – he stands out from the crowd and gets noticed. My boys attend a high school where 80+ % of the students are of European and Asian descent, so during an assembly my eldest (one of only 2 redheads out of 1000 students) is easily spotted!
I actually stupidly worried about girls and dating – oh my – the girls have swooned over the poor boy since he was about 9 and he has had a beautiful steady girlfriend for over a year now.
We still wonder where his colouring comes from (apparently my great grandmother had read hair but she died young and no one who actually knew her is alive to confirm this. My son’s paternal grandfather is adopted so there is a chance it may come from that line but I guess we’ll never know!
I guess I can just hope now that one (distant) day I’ll be blessed with beautiful grandbabies and there may be at least one redhead in the bunch!
My daughter is six now and she has been getting it since she was born. She fields all responses now.
Old Biddy: Oh what beautiful red hair!
Sassy Red Head: I know, thank you.
Usually leaves the old biddies speechless until they feel the need to comment on how polite she is.
We have had the very fotunate opportunity to adopt a 4 year old red headed boy. We keep it short because he gets so hot and sweaty all the time but I knew that when I took him to the grocery store and we got 4 comments directy to us about his hair while walking around (one as we got out of the car) that it was getting long. In fact, when we first told our families about him and sent them a picture (they live across the country), the first thing my mother in law said was, “he is a red head!” Not congratulations, but a comment about his hair. He told us for a while his hair was orange, now he either says orange or red, but insists he is not a ginger. He is great. I do have to say though, I never noticed how many red heads there are around my town until I had one and started getting comments about his hair. Sometimes, people will even tell him it is cool that thier hair matches.
I gave birth to 3 boys in a 5 year span. A brunette, a red head and a blonde. Whenever I was out and about the question was: “Are all three yours?” followed by “Do they all have the same father?”. I would just laugh and say yes to both.
My daughter has red hair, and we couldn’t leave the house without several dozen comments and people wanting to touch her. She was horribly shy around people she didn’t know so it was very much unwanted attention, that would trigger hysterical crying when they got up close. I always got the Where did she get that red hair from? I would just casually say Kmart and keep walking. My daughter started saying it after as while
My 15 year daughter has beautiful dirty blonde STRAIGHT hair!!! I mean straight! So straight that I was asked not once or twice but multiple times if I straightened her hair with a flat iron!? Really? Now at age 15 she does use the flat iron on occasion for fly always and such but at age 2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10- not once.
Seriously her hair is just this beautifully straight!
We have four children; one has super curly hair. We get very similar remarks directed toward her. My favorite is: did you curl her hair? Yes, I took two hours curling her hair, and didn’t even spend time brushing my other daughters’ hair. Lol.
Whenever I’ve had something going on that people constantly comment about I tell them, “That’s the first time I’ve heard that….(looking at watch) ..this hour.” Then I smile a genuine smile (because they are just trying to be nice). It’s usually a nice way for them to realize how many people have been commenting and they are just one more.
Touching a child when you don’t know them or the mom — now that’s over the line, especially in this day and age. Really?!
I love the comment about the mailman!
Mother’s Day is very difficult for those who have lost their mother or who wanted to have children but didn’t. If you know anyone like this please think of calling them to say hi, especially if they are alone.
My youngest has red hair and I always get, “Where does he get it from?” Since neither of us have red hair ourselves.
My little boy is a pure blond and started wearing glasses at 15 months. I felt like my baby was part of a freak show. EVERYONE had to stop and comment or ask questions.
When my daughter started loosing the newborn hair in a Mohawk I got asked often if I shaved her head that way. When her hair grew into tight curls (sides finally grew in) I had people ask me if I curled her hair! She wasn’t even 1! Baby curling iron must be sold next to the baby hair dye.
My husband and I are Indian. It’s very rare for Indians to have red hair. To add chaos to the confusion, no one in the past 2 generations have had red hair so people find it hard to believe he’s our baby. It’s always a conversation starter.
I have two beautiful unicorns as well. I have red hair so when we get the question of where it comes from I sometimes pull my smarta** card and answer I have no idea. My son was stopped in Dublin, Ireland by Irish folks that couldn’t get over his hair color. While we were all visiting Edinbough castle (both my red heads and dad were wearing kilts) we had tourists from all over the world snapping their picture. We became part of the attraction.
My third daughter is the only red head in the family (like in the WHOLE family). So it’s a really big deal (apparently). She is now two and when she meets new people she just holds up her hair because she knows they’re going to comment on it.
The school my older daughter attends has a lot of immigrant families and we are one of the only white families. Which also means the red hair is exceptionally rare. The other day at pick up I had brought the younger two over to play at the play ground while we waited for my oldest and found three girls from the school literally petting my red-head. She was not impressed. I honestly think they had never seen red hair before!
Exactly!! My first child was born with Ted hair that stuck up in a feathery Mohawk. People made all sorts of comments about her hair. When she was three she asked me why everyone asks her where she gets her red hair from. She told me, “God have me red hair” and I told her to tell people that. Now I have 3 kids and they have red, blonde and brown hair!
It seems that your brunette is the “unicorn” of your children. I too am a redhead with brunette parents and a brunette sister. You are truly blessed to have so many unicorns in one house. I’m sure you enjoy every one of their personalities.
I love this… I have all boys whom have different hair color. My first was rows second was dirty blonde/brown with natural highlights (whom people would ask me if I highlighted his hair when he was 1) and my youngest has red and he gets it all because he has red hair and we have not his hair, he is going to be 5 next month. I find it crazy that they actually ask me these questions. I have been asked if they all mine and if they all by same dad(yes and yes!!)
I once had an older man make me stop in the aisle so he could run and get his wife to look at my daughter’s hair. Another time, a woman pulled the hat off my blond son to see if he had red hair too. For a while I would put a toque on her when we went out just so we could get our errands done without being stopped by onlookers. Now, at eight-years-old, she smiles graciously, says “thank you, I know,” and stands with pride. After all of the attention in her infant hood, she knows she is a “unicorn” and has all the power. A force to be reckoned with, my ginger. Beware. lol
Enjoy the ginger. Help her enjoy it to..
Around 1st grade my daughter was pressured by classmates about her red hair. It caused her so much grief at the time that she came home wanting to color her hair brunette. Around that time, we moved and changed her schools. The peer-pressure disappeared. She came to love her red-hair as much as we do.
Now, at 13, she totally in love her uniquely colored hair and loves the attention that she gets from it.
Thank you for sharing I have 3 girls ages 5,4, and 2(almost 3). So this sums up my life a little bit. The first two are red heads our youngest is blond. We get so many comment’s on their hair, then the added oh all girls, or oh they are so close in age, and what happened (pointing to the littlest). My husband will sometimes loss control and say L’Oréal makes a great color don’t they!
Oh I’ll never say those things again LOL. I guess we all just love red heads!
I absolutely love this! I Am Japanese and Caucasian with dark hair my husband is Filipino and Caucasian and basically looks Mexican. Our son is very fair skinned with hazel eyes and dirty blonde hair. I get asked ALL the time “this is your son? With your husband?” My husband just tells people no thats her boss’s son!
I have four older brothers, three of which have red hair, one has bright red hair and I can remember him being teased so bad in school about it. I had blond hair as a child, but I could never understand why people think that is OK.
My son is a strawberry blonde, and since I’m blonde and my husband has brown hair we’re CONSTANTLY asked where the red hair came from. We even had a nun at church make a “mailman” joke when he was young. Ummm… no.
Ugh, some people! I was blessed with two sons. One has dark brown hair (almost black) and his eyes also are a deep dark chocolate brown. My youngest was born with bright red hair, now that he is in his early twenties it is a lovely auburn, and he has a firey red beard, and coppery brown eyes.
They look so very different from each other… when they were young I answered, “Yes, they are both mine” too many times. Really people! Even had a couple people argued with me that my oldest MUST be my husband’s sister’s child, not mine. No, I vividly recall the nausea and vomiting, the many months carrying him and a hard but short labor.
My oldest has the coloring of his daddy (polish/lithuanian) and my youngest takes after my scottish ancestry. Though if you look at both of them standing next to their Dad, they both look so much like him.
Some people simply do not think before they speak. Sorry you too have had to deal with such ignorance.
All of your girls are beauties! Love how when they smile, it lights up the entire face :~)
Blessings,
Kath
All of your girls are beautiful! I have a similar problem: my husband and I both have dark brown hair (his is almost black, it’s so dark, and mine is a dark chestnut), but our son has blond hair with hints of strawberry in it. EVERYONE who sees him asks where I adopted him. I respond that I got him from the land of my belly (or various versions thereof). In actuality, my hair has red highlights, and both my husband and I were blond when we were little. If I am ever blessed with another little one that has dark brown hair, however, I would be offended to hear the same comments you have heard regarding your daughter! People are so awful sometimes.
I married a curly redheaded man so I was probably destined to have at least one child with red hair. Turns out both my kids were born with red curls. My daughter had especially tight red curls and when she was a few months old people would ask me “Oh, such beautiful curly red hair! Did you perm it?”. I looked every one of them dead in the eye and said “Yes I did! And I colored it red, too!!”. Of course on the inside I was thinking that people couldn’t possibly be that stupid to think I’d perm AND color a baby’s hair….right?? Ahem……
In the 50’s they did perm baby’s hair. And in the late 60’s and early 70’s you could still find the perm in some of the county stores. I don’t know about colorings though, have never seen or heard of that.
I have 5 kids, all blondies… Beautiful. Im so used to white hair, but have recently seen a little girl with red curly hair and she was a Wonder! Amazing and beautiful. My kids all wanted to touch her:) only because she was different than us and I think its super cool when we can see the beauty and admire the variety of mankind!
This is so true! I recently (last October 2014) had twin boys and yup redheaded just like their big sister. Both daddy and I do NOT have red hair. Worst place to go is home depot. Those lamps light them up like ran candles. If I had a nickel for every time someone commented on their hair…..I would be fabulously rich. Lol
My 4 year old is a red head, when she is asked where she gets asked where she got her red hair her response is simple, “From God.” This is an answer that she came up with on her own when she was about 2 years old. Her answer shocks some and usually makes the older ladies smile, but when too many strangers start paying attention to her she just hides her face in my hip and let’s me deal with it.
I don’t have a redhead, but I have a son with a big head of white blond curls. He’s gotten lots of attention for his hair since he was a tiny little guy. He’s very shy and hates the attention, and his older sister, who has straight dark blond hair, has often felt a bit inferior. I wish people could give a nice low-key compliment instead of big, shrieky, over-the-top gushes that freak him out and make his sister feel badly.
Curls…we have curls…mine happen to be red. However two of my four boys inherited my curls, by the way when I say we have curls I mean like springs, mine included, which is why this question, directed to me, always kills me, “Where do they get those beautiful curls?” So, ok, thanks for complementing my kids hair, but how am I to answer that? They are looking at me as they ask it…do you see the mop o’ curls on my head? Or perhaps they dont like my frizzy locks and wanna know how they ended up with the pretty ones. Not to mention my straight haired kids also have beautiful hair, just sayin’. Maybe we just need to have a lesson in genetics right here and now people, red hair…curls…genes…it’s all connected! Anyway, I do know people mean well 🙂 Thank you for the laugh! Good to know I am not alone!
My parents have 8 children with 6 of us being red heads. I must say it is honestly annoying the comments some people make. I have red hair, and 3 little girls. One with blonde hair, one strawberry blonde and one with brown. People ask me all the time how I only got one redhead…like I am suppose to know!
My daughter has red hair and the biggest blue eyes you have ever seen. We get comments almost everytime we go out. Most of the time people only comment how pretty her hair and eyes are. We have had the who did she get it from, where did she get it from, we one had a border patrol person ask us that she was quite a stern and serious person and we weren’t sure if she thought we had stolen her (she is the only one in our immediate family with red hair). We are yet to get the “ginger” comment but I don’t know how I would react, I know I would be offended. So far just compliments, usually say thanks and I wish it were mine.
I have one grandchild who has red hair. One of the grandparents on the other side has red hair, so that is the response when asked where it came from. But (known by only one other living person), I also have red hair. It just isn’t on my head. Inquisitive persons should think before they blurt out a question. They may get an unexpected answer!
As a redhead with two non-ginger parents, amen. I’ve never been able to be anonymous or blend into the woodwork, and I still get comments daily. As a ginger-mama with NO ginge-babes (and I have 5!), people please quit expressing sorrow or saying, “sigh, maybe you’ll have red headed grandkids.” Especially when my beautiful sandy-headed children are right there hearing you!
I come from a family of redheads. My grandmothers favorite way to answer the question of where do you get your red hair: from the milk man. My grandfather was the milkman. She always laughed after people asked her that.
I was born with red hair as was my son. My hair decided to turn blonde before I was a year old. I loved my son’s hair and actually thought his might stay red. Everyone reacted like you said. Now that his hair has turned blonde (still beautiful, and curly btw) nobody says a word (except to point out the curls). I love my son’s hair no matter what and you are spot on with this. All children are beautiful and people shouldn’t assist with self esteem issues because they will have plenty of that without help!
I have two girls…3 years (brown EXTREMELY curly hair) and a 16 month old who seems to be growing cinnamon curly hair. My husband has dark dark brown hair and my hair is light brown. I have lost track of how many times I’ve heard “where does that red hair come from?!” And many times my husband isn’t out with me. I want to look at them and say, “why do you assume my husband isn’t a redhead?” Not to mention, why is that an appropriate question? I wouldn’t expect someone to ask me why I’m so short..where I got my lack of stature. People are strange.
My youngest is a redhead and everyone is always saying how much they love her hair. And yes, I have heard the “Is it natural?” question as well. Always makes me laugh. Interestingly, my middle child has platinum blonde hair and my oldest has medium brown. So I joke that I have the variety pack. I actually had an older woman in an elevator say “All they all yours?” “Yes.” “Let me guess, milkman, postman and husband….hahaha” being said while pointing to each of my children in turn. I had to laugh or I would have punched her and been arrested. People are just sooooo rude!
Ha ha! I was the poor afterthought-compliment child with the brown hair in my family. I had two younger red headed siblings and once they came along, anytime someone stopped to tell my mom how beautiful her children were it was all about the red hair. I remember feeling a little sorry for myself but I was also proud of my siblings 🙂
My 2 daughters are almost 8 years apart, but look very much alike (they are both very obviously my husband’s kids). You would not believe the number of times people said they were sorry it took so long for me to have a second baby, or “Wow, that’s a huge gap!” (oh, really, I hadn’t noticed), “they’re so blond, are you sure they’re yours?” (yes, I know they are mine – despite my very dark brown hair- they are taking after their Scandinavian, Irish and German ancestors!), or my personal favorite, “do they have the same father ?” (are you kidding me, look at them, they’re practically bookends!). Some people just have to make negative comments, no matter what! Not to say we haven’t had people say nice things, too, like the time the lovely lady at the restaurant commented “what cute girls, twins, right?” Unfortunately, the girls were 14 and 21 at the time. Let’s just say that my husband, I and one of the girls had a good chuckle at that!!!
My husband’s hair is black, as is his mom’s and were both grandmothers’. I’m dark brown. One brother, my dad, my dad’s mother and sister, and both of my paternal grandmother’s parents had hair so dark black that it had a blue sheen. So I’m in labor, telling God as I have for the previous 8 1/2 months that I want a little boy with wavy black hair. Yeah. Push, and push, and push, and push for an hour or so, and finally the labor room nurse says, “Oh, your baby has the prettiest red hair!” My immediate response was, “*MY* baby doesn’t have red hair!” Folks, it wasn’t just red – it was poison neon orange. You could see that kid’s head from 300 yards.
It wasn’t until we called our mothers that night that we found out my mother had a redhaired grandfather, my dad’s dad had a number of redheaded siblings/aunts/uncles, and my mother-in-law’s maternal grandfather was Irish and was the only dark-haired child with eight redheaded siblings. Oh, and my dad’s sister was born redheaded but as her baby hair fell out it came back in that dark blue-black that was so very gorgeous.
We got the comments for years. In fact, our daughter is almost 34 and we sometimes STILL get asked about her hair. Both of her children were born with red eyelashes and eyebrows; one had light hair that’s now dark brown and the other was born with jet black hair that is now light brown.
Were the comments occasionally annoying? Yep. Suck it up, Buttercup – people aren’t being rude, they’re genuinely curious and they are admiring an unexpected spark of beauty. Be nice, smile, and make that person’s day brighter.
Do we stop parents of redheads and comment on the hair? Yep. Absolutely. With the explanation that we have a redhead and are partial to them. I also tell parents, “God only gives redheaded babies to exceptional and special parents.”
I also tell them that redheads count as THREE, and that’s why we stopped with just the one daughter! 🙂
I was once told by a salesperson after seeing my son’s red hair “Don’t worry, he will grow out of it.” Ugh. The ignorance of some people!
Really are you serious? I am a redhead and have three little redheads. I’ve heard all of these comments and more. We live in Asia and people touch their hair almost every day. It’s for good luck. Most of the time people are just being friendly when they talk to them. I don’t understand why you’d be so offended. People post ginger comments and jokes to me all of the time and I find them hilarious. Having a sense of humor can be really helpful in these situations.
I have curly red headed identical twin girls, the Loch Ness Monster of unicorns. I have gotten so used to comments from everyone we pass by, that I kind of think someone is a little rude if they don’t comment. Lol My husband likes to answer the questions…
Are they twins?
Nope, just friends.
What are their names?
We haven’t decided yet. Any ideas?
You have your hands full, huh?
Yeah, literally. Could you just open that door!
Thank goodness I have only heard nice things about the red hair. I already know exactly what it means, I don’t need lessons from strangers.
All of your girls are beautiful, by the way!
We have redheads in my family all over the place . But the red heads which are my children, did ot get any . but their siblings begot them. and then down the line grand son with 3 and so on.
ooo, this made me chuckle! totally understand! I have a redhead boy and for a while I thought people were nuts gawking over hair color and slightly fearing for his safety! now a days I still think they are crazy but im better at answering the absurd questions! (and even find myself noticing/commenting on other redhead kids!)
I have one red head,when he was born and still in the hospital everyone would ask does he have red hair,yep looks like,seriously.one lady asked me a couple months later if he still had red hair,she could not see him he was in the carrier. Where did she think his red hair had gone.another lady stopped me in a restaurant to look.at his red hair. Your four girls are beautiful.
one of my friends has 5 kids they were all born with bright red hair that turned toe headed blonde…it was a little odd but thats probably why she was asking some babies are born with red hair that turns a different color
I have fraternal twin girls so yes I get lots of comments when we go out. They have a 3.5 in height difference now so it has let up some but when someone asks them their age and they both say 7 I get a lot of confused looks and crazy questions. Plus I have dark brown hair and they are both blonde so I get asked often if I really am their mom or how did they get blonde hair!
My daughter has red hair with the perfect blond highlights people pay a lot of money for. I can’t even count the number of times I have been asked if it is natural (even by our family doctor). I also hear “who did the red hair come from?” hello recessive genes is very basic genetics. Her hair is gorgeous so I just smile and respond that she is a very lucky girl and I hope that it never changes.
I also have 4 children 3 redheads and one black. The youngest has black hair. So my wife and I can totally relate to your article. My favorite was when they were babies and everyone asked if we dyed their hair. They are all teenagers now, so we don’t get the comments as much. It’s obviously natural and when we are all together we are obviously related. We, mom and dad have black hair. So of course the dominant recessive gene answe is usually the only question we answer these days. Thanks for sharing.
Love this! I don’t have red hair but I have naturally curly hair and comments are almost the same! My favorite is “where’d you get your curls from?” Santa…yep that’s right Santa because where else would my naturally curly hair come from! God bless you for not throat punching anyone! 😉
/r/thathappened
We don’t have any redheads but my youngest are twins and Lord almighty, people would constantly make comments….complete strangers. One lady actually asked me within three minutes of meeting me if I had them vaginally. EEW! I told her I didn’t talk about my lady parts with anyone I didn’t know.
I absolutely love this article. My youngest son was born with copper red hair & without fail everywhere we go one of those questions are asked or we’ll get the “Look at that red hair!” comment. I know it’s beautiful hair & I know he’s handsome &unique looking in many ways but I wish people would think before speaking.
I have a redheaded little boy and, like you, we get comments on his hair everywhere we go, but I actually LOVE the comments. It’s just a reminder to me of God’s goodness. I’ve always wanted a redheaded little boy but never thought I would be able to have one because I have dark brown hair, my husband has dark brown hair, and there are no redheads in either of our extended families. My older son was diagnosed with autism when my redhead was 4 months old. His hair was just starting to come in and I felt like it was a gift from God to me in the midst of the challenges we were facing in other areas of our lives. God knew my desire for a redheaded child wasn’t at all a necessity. He knew I could certainly live without a redheaded little boy. But He gave me a redhead because His love is creative and beautiful and one-of-a-kind. He desires to give us beautiful things for no other reason than His love for us. Every time someone compliments my little boy’s red hair, I feel like Noah looking at a rainbow–remembering and thanking God for His kindness.
Actually, your gift from God was your child with autism.
We totally get this all the time with our youngest son too. It was worse when both boys had red hair. I will be using some of these responses for sure. 😀
I’m a fraternal twin. My MOTHER has thick red hair. My sister has thick, perfectly auburn hair (perfect brown with red highlights) and I have the red-blonde hair, and yes, a lot of it, and it has waves and curls. She was “big boned” and I was the “petite” one. And we were quite a novelty to everyone for sure. So all of that to say that I was the one that got all of the attention and it left my sister with a complex. She was always comparing herself to me and competing with me and it drove me away from her sometimes. Thankfully we are very close as adults.
As a mother myself and after being a nanny and main babysitter for many children, I want to tell people to try very hard to compliment children (and everyone else) for things that take CHARACTER, not things they have no control over. “Wow, you were so patient with your little sister when you let her go first, she really looks up to you, etc. etc.” Be specific and genuine. Girls especially don’t need any more reason to be self-focused and obsessed with their appearance than society already dictates. I’m sure everyone heartily agrees.
Yes! You totally hit the nail on the head! They have zero control over how “cute” they are or their hair color, but they sure can control how nice they are or how helpful they are! Thank you!
And, I’m glad you and your sister are very close as adults now. I know it’s hard!
While not a redhead, I can relate. I’m the only ours baby in a His-Hers-Ours family with a 10-14 year age gap between me and my 4 siblings. All of my siblings are fair with blue/grey and straight blonde hair. (My parents previous spouses had the same coloring)
I have a deep olive skintone, jet black very curly hair and dark brown almond shaped eyes. I look Hispanic/Filipino/ biracial/ non white.
My parents have light brown eyes, mom has medium brown hair but dyed it when I was younger. Dad had black hair but was 75% gray when I was little.
People would gawk, pet my hair and ask where they got me from and how much I cost ( I can relate yo children in transracial adoptions on a small level)
When I was a teenager ( and the aunt of several Blondie blue eyed nieces) people assumed I was the nanny and didn’t speak English.
But it makes traveling abroad easier as I don’t scream American.
My biracial by marriage niece told her kindergarten teacher she hot her brown eyes and blsck curls from her aunt SweetHeart
Ohhhh, your niece is the sweetest!
And way to see the silver lining about travel.
I can’t believe people would ask how much you cost….well, I guess I can, but I’m just so shocked!
I have half siblings that are 13 and 16 years younger than me and also biracial. When I would take them places, people assumed they were mine and gave me the dirtiest of looks.
omg. I’m dying here cry-laughing.
I have red hair (well, currently it’s pink) and two of my sons have red hair. My baby has deep brown hair with very red highlights. We get comments everywhere we go. I’ll never forget being in the hospital when I had my first (who came out with a headful of bright red curls) nurses coming from all over the hospital to see the baby, mom, and grandmother who all had red hair. People always want to touch it. Funnily enough, my other two kids have dirty blond hair and people still are always saying that they also have red hair.
But….where did you get your pink hair!!!???
People like to tell me all the time that I have “all red heads” and I’m like, seriously? No, this is definitely not red hair! And the touching! So much touching. Would it be weird if we taught our kids to touch back?
I can relate! The most often question we get is “Where does she get her red hair?” which I think is fair, as my husband and I both have almost black hair, and our other two kids have black and brown hair. She’s unique! When she was younger (around 3) she asked me one time, “Mom, do all adults love my pretty red hair?” LOL The strangers were giving her a complex!
I have red headed identical twin boys, you can only imagine what kind of freak sideshow we are everywhere we go! Lol love my boogies
I can totally relate! I have two sons, 4 and 1, both redheads. My husband is redhead too. I just keep waiting for someone to ask ME where I get my gorgeous BROWN hair! Not gonna happen. 😉 We have had two “interesting” stories in addition to all of the regular unicorn comments. One crazy-eyed woman practically charged us in a parking lot to tell us how in the olden days, redheads were burned at the stake for being witches. Her daughter had to peel her away from us. Um, okay? What do I do with that? Other than google “how to help my child with night terrors”? And the other one, some woman sought us out to tell us that sperm banks don’t accept “donations” from redheads because no one wants a redheaded baby. I kid you not. She was smiling so big too, so happy to share that with us! I hated to burst her bubble (not really), but I had to tell her that I, the MOTHER of a redheaded baby, actually DID want a redheaded baby thankyouverymuch. I am always very polite to these people, kind of in awe of them actually. Almost like THEY, with their complete lack of social skills or awareness, are indeed the actual unicorns. Ahh, but such is life with these little fellas. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And my favorite really is, “Where do they get the red hair?” as my redheaded husband holds them. We get it ALL.THE.TIME.
Good point..I shall now refer to the lack of social skills as the awkward unicorn!
And sidenote, I actually know a woman that did use a sperm bank and “had to pay a fortune” for a guy with red hair to use his deposit!
I don’t even understand why people feel the need to come up to us and utter this insanity…and scare the crap out of our kids!
I’ve got 5 in my house. Ya I get it.
Except #2. I’ve never gotten that.
Add people trying to pawn off any redheaded child at the playground as mine.
Also add “How did you manage that?” Um, genetic engineering at it’s finest people.
Oh and the random ginger college kids who see us walking along and comes up. “MY PEOPLE!” usually offering hugs for all. (kinda like that)
We haven’t had any random college kids…I imagine my girls would get a kick out of that!
I have red hair, as do my sister and Dad. I will never get 9ver the sheer number of people who think it is okay to pet me. It has been my whole life.
Not only do random people pet me, they get so MAD when I get upset and especially upset if I pet them back. Why is it okay to randomly touch me without my permission? Ugh!
Then, other kids are cruel, too. I heard all kinds of mean things. People think they are so clever when they say stuff. Yeah, like I have never heard that one before.
The worst one I had to endure:
I’d rather be dead like a lump on a log than red on the head like the **** of a dog. I was 8 the first time someone sang that to me.
Oh my gosh! That is pretty much the worst thing I’ve heard!!! I’m so sorry somebody said that to you.
I don’t have children, but have red hair (bright red!). I don’t mean to discourage you, but your girls will get this the rest of their lives! My parents don’t have red hair and my siblings have beautiful dark black hair. All the questions you listed were all asked and still are; are you adopted? Where do you get red hair? The ladies at Target still ask me the same questions and still stop me to comment (I’m 31).
I know they will get it forever. The oldest two just sort of shake it off now. There hasn’t been any adoption questions…but I think it’s partially because they look so much like me!
I have a 6 year old daughter who has the reddest red hair, when she was first born the Dr. Asked where she got the red hair from since her dad and I both have dark brown. There isn’t one day that we can go in public without someone saying something about her hair. I taught her to always say thank you whenever someone comes up to her and says she has the prettiest red hair. But I also get the where does she get the red hair from question all the time, I get to use the Irish heritage answer as it is on both sides.?
Oddly, tonight at Target, I saw at least 4 people with red hair (that I noticed once I thought I should count!)
Although I am not the mother of a redhead, I am one. I’ve been asked those questions and much more (mainly as a teenager from predictable teenage boys). Nothing surprises me. I dyed my hair blond for a while to avoid it, but recently went back to my natural red. I’ve embraced it, but it certainly surprises me that, at 44, I still get a lot of redhead questions.
That surprises me and yet doesn’t. I’ve heard of many redheads that dye their hair and then decide to go back to natural.
Love this my aunt gets half these questions every time we are out
I’m getting a lot of comments about adults getting these questions, too. And, then some that are completely inappropriate, too!
People will make comments for the rest of their lives lol. And it’s tough when you have two or more kids because one always gets more compliments. My 14 year old gets compliments because she’s tall and skinny: “You should be a MODEL!” … while my short, chunky 9 year old stands there with her buck teeth and glasses… lol. They obviously get uncomfortable and are stumbling over words, “Oh, my aren’t you adorable.. your.. your hair is so pretty!”. People are just dumb lol it’s their nature.
Oh, goodness…and yet, I can totally relate…my sister was always the cute one!
I recently wrote a post about having redheaded children and the misconceptions we face -http://ambertackles.com/motherhood-misconceptions/
I am a redhead, my husband is a redhead and both of my boys have red hair! I grew up hearing all sorts of things and getting teased and I hated having red hair when I was a kid. I have grown to love it and in the beginning of motherhood, people that didn’t have red hair were ‘the odd ones” to our kids! We have taught our kids to embrace it and we are all proud gingers! Good luck…you and your daughters will always get comments about red hair as long as they have it! #redhairdontcare
Oh, the older two totally get it. They are like “yes, it’s red hair” or something else. I can only imagine how it will change as they get older.
My husband and I have nine children, four of whom are redheads. Our oldest is a redhead, the 2nd has brown hair, and the next two have red hair, so I know what it’s like having only one without red hair…and hearing all the various comments. When I was pregnant with #5, our #2 daughter prayed that he/she would have hair like hers so she wouldn’t be the only one. He was a blond. 🙂 No more redheads until our youngest daughter!
The kiddos that are different then their siblings definitely have a hard time with it.
I am a high school English teacher (retired now). One year I was teaching seventh grade in a private school in West Virginia, and fully a third of my class had red hair! Not being a native West Virginian, this was interesting to me. We DO have a big population of Scots-Irish descendants, though.
That is definitely against the odds!
Yep. I get comments on my 4 year old daughter’s hair every time we go somewhere. She doesn’t like it being called red and tells people it’s “golden”. I have a sister with orange red hair and I remember her hating it being called red too. I do remember just shaking my head the first time someone asked me if it was my daughter’s natural color (I think she was about 2!). Every single one of my mother’s cousins had red red hair growing up and it turns almost black as we age. Some one told me it’s because we’re part Irish. Don’t know enough about that though.
Yes, I would guess there’s some Irish somewhere in your family history! It’s usually hidden for a while, too.
The natural thing is such a funny comment. I know people just want to say something but that is definitely a funny choice!
Funny you should mention that. People asked me as early as when my daughter was ONE if her hair was natural! Really people? Who dyes an 18 month old’s hair?? She will be 3 next month and I still get asked is it really red. Quite. In fact in the light her hair is bright orange. All of the questions mentioned in this I get asked almost daily. Is she yours, though, takes the cake. We are African American so for sone reason people really seem to be amazed by her hair color. I soooo love her uniqueness.
I love the uniqueness, too! I love when people ask if it’s red. I’m tempted to say. No, it’s purple!
I have a red-headed stepson. His dad has dark hair and his bio-mom is blonde and jerky people will carry on about and touch his hair everywhere we go, while his gorgeous blonde sister is bizarrely ignored. How do you do that? It’s ice to know we are not alone!
The touching is totally uncool. My 2 year old (mostly because of her sisters) can say “stop it” and “don’t do that”. She hasn’t had to say it to a stranger yet, but I know it’s coming.
I am the only redhead in my family. And now I have four kids of my own. And not one of them has red hair. (I think they have red highlights though) So i always get the sad faces from people telling me not one of my children has red hair. Like I didn’t know that.
I always say to them, maybe ill get a grandbaby with red hair.
Yes, the stating of the obvious is always a good choice for a comment!
And, the red hair totally skipped a generation here!
I’m a ginger and my son and daughter are too!! We get lots of attention just running to Target. My kids are used to and the attention and it has been a great lesson in social skills. I never mind people making obvious statements! People just aren’t used to seeing red hair! I constantly hear “Wonder where they got their red hair from!” I just laugh and blame their Greek daddy!
I also have a red headed daughter who is 13. And I have heard EVERY SINGLE one of those comments. I am not a red head and my husband went from strawberry blonde as a child to just blonde. I totally get your feelings, especially about hair dye. Used to hear that one a lot when she was younger. My daughter is just now starting to appreciate the uniqueness of her red hair and blue eyes.
I have a little red head and i get ALL of the above questions asked anywhere i go. I wouldn’t have it any other way but people can definetly be strange about all the questions they ask, one to add is “is he adopted?”
I was a red head but my children have dark brown hair. They may have children with red hair. I was always told I couldn’t wear pink or red. I hated it! I also hated my red hair until it started fading to Auburn/brown. Adults always commented nicely and told me how lucky I was to have red hair. Kids always teased me.
One of my daughter’s four children has ginger hair.After watching yet another person pat her brothers glowing curls and make the usual ‘ haven’t you got beautiful red hair ‘ comment, his exasperated sister blurted out ” You need to learn your colours! That’s not red, it’s bright orange!”
All of your girls are beautiful! I have a red headed son who is 19 and the comments never stop. He was suspended in kindergarten for biting a little girl who he constantly told to stop touching his hair. When I was called I simply said ” tell her to stop touching his hair!” I give my son some grief in his hair, but don’t let a stranger do it…momma bear will show her claws. I also have 2 children with brown hair, and I think they are just as special and beautiful. Keep up the good fight mom!!!
I love when I am out without my husband and I get “oh your husband must have red hair”. Nope, recessive gene people!!! I have 2 girls with brown hair and my son has red. He hates the attention but is the one who gets it when we are out because of his hair.
I have a 3 year old red head and I am blonde so I understand all the questions. She is very curly too so my favorite question is, “is that natural?!” My response, “no, we put a 3 year old in curlers every night.” ?
For the longest time people would say to her, “wow you have red hair!” and her response was “no it’s orange” ? And she was right it is more orange than red! Now someone told her it’s called strawberry blonde and she likes the sound of that description!
I have two redheads and am a redhead myself. I literally get these exact comments and reactions everywhere we go. Especially after I had my daughter. Red headed little girls get SO much attention. She’s pretty dang cute though, so I enjoy it 😉
Be thankful, people are so complimentary. In some parts of the UK, people are down right rude and offensive to people with red hair and the term “Ginger” is something to laugh about. Very occasionally even directed at children. My friends beautiful wee red head daughter (aged 3) was pointed at in Glasgow with the comment “Ha ha, check oot that Ginger”
Mom of 3 red heads, 1 brown hair. Have been asked all of those many times. Including, is the one with brown hair mine as well. My husband has asked me to dye my hair red for 20 years so people would stop asking where they got the red hair from. Both of my girls also have blue eyes, which I have heard is rare for red heads.
My red head is now 39 years old. When we were home for a visit to San Diego California we took him to Sea World. By the time we came back to his grandparents house I was so angry I did not even want them to touch him. Now 39 years later I have to laugh. Because somewhere in Japan there are 50 family photo albums and all of them contain at least one of my son.
Please never, but never just reach out and touch them either. If he doesn’t get ya, I promise you his mother will.
I have four children. 3 of them are reds. And the fourth a curly beautiful brown. And she always gets the afterthought comment. Drives me to want to commit something illegal. And all the other question – Oh yes. All of them and some.
I understand! My daughter has lovely dirty blonde hair and pretty blue eyes but people in our family seems to wish she had the red hair that her cousins have.. When we go places together everyone stops and says, “What GORGEOUS, children!!!” about the red headed girl cousins and barely notice my daughter. I’m afraid it’s going to eventually hurt her feelings.
I do not have children with red hair but this is surprising similar to curly hair and we are asked many of the same questions! Two of my kids have curls like mom and one does not, and I too get upset on my daughters behalf when people go crazy over the Cyrus and ignore her and make that last minute half hearted compliment on her hair. Since I have curly hair, they sarcastically joke ” oh winder where they got it?” When I was growing up, my parents do not have curly hair and people always asked where I got it. People are weird lol.
What IS the obsession with hair color in general? Who cares about what color someone’s hair color is, and why does society focus on inventing imaginary characteristics, and applying them to certain hair colors? This is just as bad as the “dumb blonde” mantra, which was, most likely the result of Marilyn Monroe, who was actually a natural brunette. Amusing. Programming at its best. Perhaps people with red hair seem feisty as a result of shallow idiots who are constantly assuming things based on their hair color.
When my mum grew up she was picked on because she had red hair now I have a son with strawberry blond hair, it is a very unusual color and I love it. Many people ask me about it where did it come from and I have also been asked is he sick as he has very fair skin and stunningly bright blue eyes, no he is not sick it is the beautiful coloring that God gave him. He is very proud of his unique hair color. My other child has a light brown hair color and people always look at her and try to to come up with a comment for her. They also ask why do they have such different coloring, (same father) ahhhh, they are individuals.
Me too I have red hair and won’t do anything to change it plus its somethings most people don’t have
My two sisters, mom, aunt, grandpa and grandma, and two cousins have red hair and even tho i am blond i cant count how many times i have heard these questions!
I bet you hear it around them all of the time!
I must say, I was the only redhead in the family, and I heard all of these questions every single day. I’m sure my blonde haired sister hated hearing, “And you have pretty hair, too!” As an adult, I married a redhead and created a whole new market of redheads as a result. Three red-haired sons later, I have heard and appreciate all the silly questions people ask.
At 46, I’m still as ginger as ever, and when I get the comments about my hair (what color is it, who colors it, you look so great with that hair color, etc.), I politely answer that it’s my God-given hair color, and I’m really glad it worked out that it fits well with my face.
I love my ginger family!
Omg I love this!!!! My daughter who we also call b is a red head and i have heard all these questions. Including do.you know how much money I would pay to have that color. I know people mean well but it does get old.
Another red headed, B? I love it! I might have once or twice asked just how much…but I never get a reply!
I have red hair, and I have heard it all. Please teach you girls how to deal with these things in spicy but effective wayss…I wish someone had done that. Some of the things I’ve dealt with:
Casual acquaintance: “Men either love or hate redheads. I hate them” I was 16. He was older and married.
Many many men through the years: Is it true what they say about redheads? I smoke screen them, which goes something like this: “Is it true what they say about redheads?” “I don’t know, what do they say?” __And this is where most men realize that they are being assholes and will say “Well, YOU KNOW…” “No I don’t, why don’t you tell me?” and they repeat what they just said. Swear to God it consistently take 3 rounds of my feigned innocence for them to realize that they just asked a woman if she is good in bed, has a temper, matching decor, or whatever it is, before they stop asking. The trick is to force the person to realize their rudeness. Seriously, I was a young teen when this started.
Then the people who will grab my hair. Sure, women will do this when admiring each other or complimenting, but it can get much worse. I was in a store once, when a clerk grabbed my rather substantial braid from behind me. If you know wrestling or animals, if you control the head, you control the animal. I basically turned around to tell her she had just assaulted me and who was her manager. She went white and then apologized profusely, but still.
Strangers and casual acquaintance that call me red, get an immediate response not to call me red, usually in my best i-will-cut-you voice. I tell friends/co-workers that they can call me something referring to my haircolor, IF they can find something I have never heard. Only one person has done it, and what he came up with was substantially longer than my actual name.
One time, an older gentleman persisted in calling me Red, so I started calling me Whitey…it was weeks before he asked me why I was calling him that….I told him I figured since he was calling me by my hair color, I could return the favor….he then told me that his hair was not white. I said “exactly”. he never did it again.
I point this out because the stranger commentary has been so persistent, and, well, silly like when you are pregnant. I figure that one inappropriate comment deserves another, so I do it, but people do remember how you make them feel, and if it can be done with humor and grace, people will feel like you let them down easy and laugh with you. So, it’s not been all bad, and I have learned real skills on how to either let comments slide or put them down with grace and humor, or to just call it straight up for the arsehats but it’s been hard not seeing others like me (no family with redhair, except my dad who was gone gray when I was old enough to think about it). Find pictures and models in the media that look like your daughters, so that they way that they look is normal. Don’t put them in colors that wash their skin or hair out….you can tell, because they look more ghostly or their hair looks brownish/brassy.
Also, when there is a group of kids making trouble, your redheaded darlings will be the ones that get blamed because they will stand out from the rest.
And above all, be sure to compliment them on things other than their hair. I never hear anything about my eyes, for instance. only recently did someone comment on my eyes (it might have been optometrist, who said they are perfect) and there was the CT scan tech who told me I had a beautiful brain….not something you hear every day! It’s those compliments that I remember, not the incessant stranger surprise that I have *gasp* hair in a color different from theirs.
Finally, there will be people who read this and think that I am mean. Maybe I am, but it’s only because the weight of the constant commentary has weighed me down for my entire life. It’s because people have literally baited me to see if the legendary temper kicks in for my entire life, catcalls are worse, the red hair grabs more attention on the street, people will remember you more than others. It gets to a body, and you have to find a way to cope with it. I have tried to find humor and grace in dealing with it, but sometimes more direct action is needed.
Finally, please feel free to contact me if you have questions about certain things unique to redhead experience….
#8: “What’s the milkman’s name?”
This is the one out of all the questions I’ve been asked concerning my daughter’s flaming red hair that actually bothered me.
My daughter Zara has red hair, and I don’t. When she was in 1st grade, the TEACHER asked if I was her nanny, and after I asked, said, “Oh, so she’s adopted!” The whole year, the teacher called her, “ginger”! I love my daughter’s red hair, and I hope she does too.
I hope Zara does, too! My girls love theirs most of the time, too!
And good grief! People that don’t the questions and borderline accusations on the daily really don’t get it!